Liz Clifton of Family Dog Connection Limited On How To Support A Loved One Who Is Struggling With An Eating Disorder
Be Patient and Positive — Change can take time so be open to patience and reach out for support to help strengthen your calm, patient foundation and resilience as and when you need it.
Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions that affect millions worldwide, transcending age, gender, and cultural boundaries. They are not simply about food but involve a range of psychological, physical, and social issues. Supporting a loved one through this struggle can be challenging, requiring understanding, patience, and knowledge of the right approaches to truly make a difference.
In this series, we aim to shed light on the most effective ways to offer support, understanding, and hope to those battling an eating disorder. We are talking to psychologists, nutritionists, doctors, therapists, and survivors, who can provide valuable perspectives on nurturing recovery, fostering resilience, and promoting healthy relationships with food and body image. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Liz Clifton.
Liz Clifton the Founder of Family Dog Connection Limited and the take34u™ mission is here to help guide you and your animals to calm. She blends a bespoke combination of Calm Holistic Coaching, Intuitive Mentoring, Indian head massage, Hypnosis, Timeline Therapy®, Reiki and Animal Reiki together with inspirational speaking and connected communication and confidence workshops to help you get clear, calm and confident to choose to be yourself anywhere and enjoy at least 3 minutes of daily self-care joy lizclifton.co.uk
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion about authentic, feminine leadership, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
Thanks so much for inviting me to share in this interview series on such an important topic.
From my first home businesses melting chocolate down to create my own bespoke hazelnut chocolates, to art shows in my front yard and making fimo jewelry to sell at school craft sales I’ve always had a creative entrepreneurial spark.
Over the years I’ve tried many different businesses including distribution for an American health supplement business, Indian head massage therapist, Reiki and Animal Reiki Master Teacher Trainer, Mentor, NLP Master Practitioner and Coach, Timeline Therapy® Master Practitioner, Calm Holistic Life Coach and Calm Leadership Mentor.
I’ve always loved supporting others and after finally learning that to truly support others to the very best of my ability I now have such a strong drive and passion to share this wisdom with others and ease their journeys into self awareness, acceptance, forgiveness, confidence and love.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
Your mind is like a wild stallion. As a fast thinking creative who loves to research and understand the mechanics behind how things work my mind runs fast. Over the years I’ve managed to ease my mind by clearing away old emotional baggage and blocks to empower myself to be able to choose my mindset most of the time.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Thanks so much for asking, yes I’m working on my take34u mission to empower as many people as possible to create the clear calm, connected, confidence and communication to choose to be themselves with anyone anywhere at any time and enjoy at least 3 minutes daily self care joy. As part of this mission I’m just about to launch my Get Me Calm with Liz Clifton Podcast: Helping You to Relax, Release and Be Inspired with top tips for calming, leadership and self care plus amazing animal connection stories. I’ve also just launched both my Reiki and Animal Reiki Relaxation Conference and my Calm Leadership Conference.
According to this study cited by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, at least 30 million people in the U.S. of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder. Can you suggest 3–5 reasons why this has become such a critical issue recently?
The separation that people faced over the lockdown period in all areas of their wellness including physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually has created additional challenges for so many and one of the ways that this trauma, stress and anxiety has presented itself in society is through eating disorders.
Mainstream society today is also heavily geared around fast convenience food which can be problematic, encouraging eating habits of excess, speed, high calories, sugar and fat from a very early age.
A lack of in person contact can result in depression and isolation which can lead to comfort eating, starvation and other eating disorders.
As human beings we are naturally community based so eating alone can feel unnatural and result in disordered eating habits.
Finally, the comparison culture, especially in social media can easily lead to eating disorders as people strive to look like often photoshopped fake images and celebrities who often have personal dieticians and extreme exercise regimes that most people cannot afford in time, money or energy due to their own daily commitments..
Based on your insight, what concrete steps can a) individuals, b) corporations, c) communities and d) leaders do to address the core issues that are leading to this problem?
a) As an individual you can start to check in with how you’re feeling on a regular basis. You can start with a simple 3 second daily check in at first.
Then take time to get to know yourself, how you’re feeling, what you enjoy doing and who you enjoy spending time with.
Discover how to support all areas of your health best including physical exercise, eating habits, emotional processing and release, mental wellness, spiritual well being.
Ensure that you create time and space to rest yourself regularly and always reach out for help if anything feels too much to manage alone.
Remember that there are always many of us ready and wanting to support you.
b) Corporations can work together to create strong wellness missions and resources to support team members, clients and customers across all areas of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health.
They can set good examples including positive healthy eating habits, self awareness, regular rest and wellbeing activities through all levels of management including boards and founders.
Create and clearly signpost simple paths for everyone to access eating disorder and mental wellness support and outsource for these services from recognised organizations as needed.
c) Communities can strive together to create and clearly sign post support for individuals who are experiencing stress, eating disorders or any other health and wellness difficulties and also support and positive resources for those supporting their loved ones with any other health and wellness difficulties.
They can ensure that there is positive reinforcement around and accessible educational information that can help create healthy, supportive, happy communities.
Schools, community groups, health providers, community members and businesses in the community can work together to create a productive web of unconditional community eating support available to everyone.
d) Leaders can be open and honest about their own experiences with eating disorders and help to create a positive and supportive space around them by sharing and supporting the sharing of positive stories of individuals who have experienced eating disorders.
They can create clear signposting and financial support for services, projects and missions to help individuals experiencing eating disorders and those that are supporting others through eating disorders.
As you know, one of the challenges of an eating disorder is the harmful,and dismissive sentiment of “why can’t you just control yourself”. What do you think needs to be done to make it apparent that an eating disorder is an illness just like heart disease or schizophrenia?
Talk about eating disorders more and share the stories of people who, just like me, have experienced or are experiencing them.
As with all illnesses the more that people are aware of them the easier it is for them to accept them and then offer kindness and support to others who are experiencing them.
It’s also worth explaining how trauma and stress stacking can affect all areas of anyone’s health as sometimes people are actually experiencing disorders and or illnesses themselves and just don’t realize it.
Education especially through sharing people’s own life stories has historically been the most powerful tool in society and continues to be so today.
Here is the main question of our interview. Can you please share with our readers 5 ways to support a loved one who is struggling with an eating disorder? If you can, can you share an example from your own experience?
1 . Share Unconditional Love
I’ve been very fortunate to have people there for me and even though they didn’t always understand what I was going through they were able to show me unconditional love.
Take a moment to let your loved ones know that you love them unconditionally exactly as they are now and always.
It’s easy to assume that they know that already but often when we are stuck in an old thought, habit or eating disorder it can be hard to know that others care about you.
So take a moment to tell them that you love them exactly as they are always preferably in their favorite communication such as in words, a voice note, a poem, a picture or a letter, anything to make sure that they understand your gentle unconditional loving intentions.
Sharing your unconditional love is so powerful and even if they don’t acknowledge it at the time it may well be a moment that they draw upon for support in the future.
For inspiration of unconditional love look to our animal companions for constant demonstrations and motivation as they still exist in this beautiful energetic space naturally.
You can easily see it with guardians and their dogs and cats so be a little bit more canine or feline today and share some unconditional love for yourself and a loved one experiencing their own challenges.
2 . Offer Silent Support
There have been many moments in my life where someone unexpected has stepped in to offer me care and kindness by just being there.
After a particularly challenging time where I was not eating enough I collapsed in the street and an extended family member sweetly took me and my two girls in for a few days.
She fed me and looked after my young girls until I was strong enough to go home and carry on.
We never discussed how I was feeling or what was happening but she silently looked after us and was there for us all in that moment.
At that time I wasn’t ready to acknowledge or start to move through my old eating disorder so it really helped that she was just there silently helping us.
I will be forever grateful for her silent support.
So take time to just be there for those that you love as you never know when they may need your support and reach out for support whenever you need it.
There is even silent coaching now which revolves around simply being there for your client silently supporting and I know that with my own clients sometimes silence is the most powerful transformation for them.
In silence you can truly connect beyond language beyond physical form and simply share pure unconditional love and natural caring support together.
3 . Actively Listen
Learn and practice active listening as this simple concept can completely change your relationships especially with your loved ones experiencing eating disorders.
Active listening is the act of gently focussing on what someone else is saying and also how they are behaving as they are speaking.
Personally I believe that it also includes offering gentle eye contact as they are speaking so that they know you are really paying them your full attention.
It involves paying attention to their words, the tone of their voice, the pitch and speed of their voice, the positivity in their vocabulary and their facial expressions and body language.
As you start to use each of these skills in your communication you will notice that you strengthen your relationship, trust and connection with your loved one.
It takes practice as it’s easy to start formulating your answer or reaction when others are talking to you but it’s such a valuable skill and will serve you to support your loved one so much more when you take time to practice it.
Be gentle with yourself as you start, especially if it is a new practice because as with everything else it takes time to improve it 🙂
When I first experienced active listening I was supporting a loved one through their addictions and it was such a powerful shift in our relationship that soon afterwards they truly opened out with me.
A simple gentle eye contact when they were speaking helped them to feel seen, heard and understood.
Together we were then able to start planning their first steps into recovery and at each bump along the road our deeper connection supported them to keep going.
Today take a moment to practice actively listening to yourself or your loved one and notice how much more aware, in the moment and connected you feel when you do.
Of course do reach out for support with active listening whenever you need it.
4 . Ask Them for Tiny Help
As human beings we have an innate desire to help support others, in fact this is often where burnout or resentment begins to grow when we sacrifice our own health and wellbeing for others.
When a loved one is facing the daily challenges of an eating disorder it is natural to want to protect and look after them.
However it can be supportive to also ask them for simple tiny acts of help.
You could for example ask them to join you in an activity so that you won’t feel alone such as a small walk, completing a puzzle, listening to a new album, watching a movie or favorite tv show.
Or you could ask them for their opinion on an outfit, a new purchase, a book, a positive news article, a new project or creation that you’re working on.
By asking them to help you out you will be boosting their self esteem and help them to feel valued as an individual.
When I was experiencing one of my last eating disorders it was supremely supportive when my eldest daughter asked me for help and advice looking into a new animal to bring into the family.
We spent lots of time talking and giggling as we considered all of her different options.
It made me feel wanted, useful and respected which looking back was extremely instrumental in getting me back on my feet again.
By taking her time to truly seek out my thoughts and feelings on a completely neutral topic I slowly began to reconnect with myself.
As I started to realize how I was feeling I had the opportunity to start seeking support and creating positive changes in my life including my relationship to food and eating.
I was then able to work in harmony with my unconscious and conscious minds, my natural energy, my physical body and my spirit to choose new eating habits which evolved around intuitive eating after I had released my old negative associations with food and eating.
When helping my clients as they dive deep into other areas of their lives they gently and naturally start to notice and then discuss their own eating disorders and food relationships.
I believe that when our energy and focus is directed elsewhere we relax and allow ourselves to start to naturally heal whatever our discomfort, disorder or wellness issue is.
Our bodies, minds and spirits hold the blueprint for our optimum health and wellness and when we actively support them they can repair and rewire themselves as needed.
5 . Be Patient and Positive
Change can take time so be open to patience and reach out for support to help strengthen your calm, patient foundation and resilience as and when you need it.
Personally it took me a very long time to face my own eating disorders.
Over the years I yo-yoed from anorexia to bulimia with varying extremes that occurred alongside my bouts of postnatal depression over the 14 years that I gave birth to my 4 daughters.
Until I was finally ready to face myself and my own disordered eating.
Just as with so many other things I only knew what I knew and during those years I simply did not allow myself to accept that I was experiencing any old eating disorders.
You may notice that I call them old and that is to help support myself, especially my unconscious mind, to know that yes I experienced it but it is now in the past.
My most supportive friends and family were those who held their patience with me and allowed me to make my own discoveries in my own time.
They showed me unconditional love, silent support, active listening and sought tiny acts of help from me with such kind patience over my life.
The greatest of my supporters would have to be my eldest daughter and my current husband for their immense daily unconditional love, strength and joy.
They also both shared positive stories that they found about people who had gone through similar experiences and this really helped me.
Working with my own clients I find that positive experiences of others help share important information that would be lost or rejected if shared in other ways.
Stories have the power to touch our hearts, souls and minds in a short succinct way that other communication lacks.
So in your patient waiting times feel free to share productive tales of others lives and breakthroughs as you never know which one may spark the seeds of change for your loved one.
You can research these on charity sites that support those with eating disorders and also many celebrities are now openly sharing their eating disorder journeys too.
The most powerful ones are those that your loved one can relate to in some way such as being the same age, experiencing a similar event in their lives or respecting the individual in some way.
Patience is one of my favorite virtues and superpowers and when you offer it to your loved ones with eating disorders or any other disorders you will be offering one of the most selfless acts of unconditional love that there are in the world.
Thank you for your love, patience and wondrous kindness as the unique beautiful person that you are. I am truly grateful for you researching how to help your loved ones. Thank you!
And please always reach out for support when you need it too. Many of us have walked these paths and are ready, open and willing to help you ease your journey.
How do you navigate the balance between offering support and respecting the autonomy of a loved one with an eating disorder?
Be open, honest and trust yourself. Give them as much opportunity as possible to choose how they wish to move forwards and be patient.
Take time to listen to them and support them to start building their own self awareness with gentle unconditional love and kindness.
Take time to put yourself in their shoes and imagine how you might like to be treated if things were the other way round?
You can do this by calming imagining that you are both sitting down in chairs opposite each other.
Imagine walking away from your chair and then coming back into the room and sitting in their chair, as them, instead.
Notice how you feel.
Notice how you feel about the way that you have been communicated with.
This is a great way to consider how you speak, treat and connect with your loved one to ensure that they feel loved and supported by you.
You can also ask them how they are feeling and if they would prefer you to speak or communicate differently.
Then reach out for support to help you navigate this relationship when you need it and share support for them to reach out for as and when they want too
There is always support available for you both individually and together.
Is there a message you would like to tell someone who may be reading this, who is currently struggling with an eating disorder?
You are loved exactly as you are in each and every moment, I see you, I hear you and I feel you because I have been where you are now. Reach out for support anonymously or as yourself whenever you need it. There are so many of us here and ready to help when you are ready. Relax, release and start to allow yourself to be loved always xx
In your experience, what are the most effective strategies for building resilience and a positive self-image in individuals recovering from an eating disorder?
After my personal and professional experience I have found that the most important first step is to take time to release any old negative emotions, old limiting beliefs and old unsupportive habits.
This then gives you a fresh foundation to start choosing and setting your new positive and supportive habits, feelings and mindset.
Next you can practice, choose and start using and strengthening your chosen emotional processing practices to help you release any old stress and negative emotions as they arise.
What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that have helped people with this struggle? Can you explain why you like them?
My favorite resources from my personal journey through eating disorders and for supporting my clients on their journeys are:
Guided meditations to help you relax, release old emotions, energetic and belief blocks.
Reiki relaxation to reconnect with yourself, deeply relax, invite your old emotions and stresses to flow through you, rebalance and align your natural energy, soul and chakras.
Timeline Therapy to help you clear away old deep rooted emotions and feelings and place new goals onto your timeline to support you to achieve and manifest them.
Hypnosis and self hypnosis to move yourself into a calm relaxed state where you can choose to release old tensions and set new habits in place.
Mind Maps, bullet points, voicenotes, poetry, creative writing, journalling and other art to help you release what is in your mind as you clear away anything no longer serving you, process your current emotions, feelings, experiences and habits and also begin to choose, plan, create and develop your new habits and goals for eating, your relationship with food and other areas of your life.
3 second calming practices such as asking yourself “How do I feel?”, “What do I need now?” or a simple breathing practice where you breathe in for the count of one and then breathe out for the count of two.
Mini and small tongue drums, flower of life chime, tingsha, small and medium singing bowls all help me relax, reconnect to and enjoy the present moment fast with their naturally rebalancing melodious musical sound therapy.
Music playlists which I create with a simple emotional title and then fill with tracks that help me feel that emotion such as calm, happy, motivated and energetic. They help me to process my feelings and emotions with ease naturally and quickly.
I personally found Man’s Search For Meaning written by Viktor E Frankl a poignant, heavy, heart wrenching book of the nature of man really helped me to connect to my own deep rooted hope, strength and faith in myself through my journey through eating disorders.
NHS website and call line for simple accessible information and starting points for your health.
Mind website for support around eating disorders and readily available support.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the largest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
For everyone to take at least 3 seconds a day to check in with you how they are feeling by simply asking themselves:
“How do I feel?”
Each day you can start to build up your self awareness, self understanding, self acceptance, self forgiveness and self love.
Which will then in turn support you to support yourself and others to the very best of your ability.
When everyone takes this time to be truly connected to themselves they will then collectively be able to support those most in need across the world of all species.
How can our readers continue to follow your work online?
Thanks so much for this magnificent supportive series, you can find me and the take34u mission on my website: lizclifton.co.uk and also on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/liz-clifton Instagram: www.instagram.com/lizclifton/ Youtube: youtube.com/@take34u and Twitter: twitter.com/LizCliftoncoach
Thank you so much for these insights! This was so inspiring!
Liz Clifton of Family Dog Connection Limited+take34u™ On How To Support A Loved One Who Is… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.