Remember to listen to their feelings, not just focus on their behaviors. They may be feeling guilt, shame, defiance, helplessness, anger, and a host of other difficult emotions. The best thing you can do is listen to them, support them, and validate those feelings.
Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions that affect millions worldwide, transcending age, gender, and cultural boundaries. They are not simply about food but involve a range of psychological, physical, and social issues. Supporting a loved one through this struggle can be challenging, requiring understanding, patience, and knowledge of the right approaches to truly make a difference.
In this series, we aim to shed light on the most effective ways to offer support, understanding, and hope to those battling an eating disorder. We are talking to psychologists, nutritionists, doctors, therapists, and survivors, who can provide valuable perspectives on nurturing recovery, fostering resilience, and promoting healthy relationships with food and body image. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Catherine Rall.
Catherine is a Registered Dietitian Nutritionist (RDN) with 6 years of experience in the nutrition industry. She has worked with a variety of populations in different environments to provide nutrition counseling. Currently, she is enjoying working as a Clinical Dietitian where she aims to provide evidence-based nutrition education that is also aligned with Food Freedom and Health At Every Size.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
Growing up, I was a competitive gymnast which is what sparked my interest in health and nutrition. For many, many years I didn’t realize that my interest in nutrition was actually an obsession, which led to disordered eating. I had convinced myself that I wanted to pursue a career as a dietitian to help others feel good about themselves but in reality, I thought that by becoming an expert in nutrition, I would have the tools to change how I looked. It wasn’t until after college that I realized my career was motivated by an eating disorder. As I healed, my values around nutrition started to change. I was no longer interested in being a weight loss dietitian, but instead started to feel passion towards working with eating disorders. During my internship I had the opportunity of spending two months at an eating disorder recovery center which was an enlightening experience. It pretty much sealed the deal that my career path was leading towards helping others on their journey to recovery.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
My favorite “Life Lesson Quote” is, “If you’re going to trust one person, let it be yourself.” As cliché as it sounds, I think people really underestimate how much value there is behind believing in yourself. Fostering a self-trust mindset allows you to feel secure in yourself and your future without seeking validation from others. For the longest time, I was extremely insecure and was always looking for approval from others. It wasn’t until I took a solo trip that others advised me not to, because of stories they’ve heard of other’s solo travel experiences. I ended up having a trip of a lifetime; I met others who were pursuing their dreams that motivated me to pursue my dreams. I came to the realization that I know myself best, and I should rely on myself more.
Remember, this is your life and you are in control of it.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Yes! I am working on establishing my own private practice. This is definitely a long term project that won’t be easy, but I know it will be worth it. While I will be working with those suffering from eating disorders, I’d ideally like to specialize in working with athletes. As a “retired” athlete, I feel like I have a deeper understanding of an athlete’s love for their sport and how it may have contributed to an eating disorder.
According to this study cited by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, at least 30 million people in the U.S. of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder. Can you suggest 3–5 reasons why this has become such a critical issue recently?
- Growing awareness has led to more diagnoses of eating disorders. This is especially true in populations that we don’t typically think of as getting eating disorders, including men, younger children, and the elderly.
- It’s hard to overstate the role that our media consumption habits are playing here. Social media, and especially photo filters, make it easy for anyone to develop unrealistic body image expectations.
- This is also a downstream effect of the pandemic, to some extent. People had a lot of time on their hands, they were under a lot of stress, and they were much more isolated. This made it much easier for that combination of social media and anxiety to manifest as eating disorders in some people.
Based on your insight, what can concrete steps can a) individuals, b) corporations, c) communities and d) leaders do to address the core issues that are leading to this problem?
Corporations and communities have a key role to play here in terms of promoting healthy attitudes towards body image on a societal level. Media that gives people unrealistic expectations of a healthy weight, or makes losing weight seem simpler than it is, can contribute to the prevalence of disordered eating. Individuals and leaders should focus on the individual level. We often feel uncomfortable talking about someone’s weight, but in cases where someone seems to be chronically too skinny, doesn’t seem to be eating enough, or otherwise seems to have an unhealthy attitude about their weight and diet, people need to be ready to intervene, either by directly addressing the issue with the individual or by reaching out to trusted friends and family who might be able to broach the topic more gently. One other thing that both individuals and organizations can do is talk about food and weight in neutral terms. There’s no such thing as “good” or “bad” food, and eating things like desserts or snacks should never be talked about as “cheating”. Healthy people also exist in bodies of different sizes and shapes, and it’s essential to emphasize this and avoid conflating weight with health.
As you know, one of the challenges of an eating disorder is the harmful,and dismissive sentiment of “why can’t you just control yourself”. What do you think needs to be done to make it apparent that an eating disorder is an illness just like heart disease or schizophrenia?
There are two things to keep in mind here: The first is that maintaining a healthy weight can be a challenge even for people who don’t struggle with eating disorders. Issues of genetics, lifestyle, chronic illness, and access to healthy food can all make good nutrition a real challenge. The second is that people with eating disorders literally have a warped view of their own bodies. The clinical term for this is body dysmorphia, and it means that they’ll always see themselves as being at the wrong weight, no matter what the scale or their friends tell them. In a weird way, people with eating disorders exercise a tremendous amount of control over their diets and activity levels. It’s also important to note that eating disorders can take many different forms. Especially to people who aren’t looking too closely, an eating disorder could look like being a picky eater, or being really into health and fitness. It’s when these thoughts and behaviors are taken to unhealthy extremes that they become a problem.
Here is the main question of our interview. Can you please share with our readers 5 ways to support a loved one who is struggling with an eating disorder? If you can, can you share an example from your own experience?
1 . Avoid feeling guilty or blaming yourself. This one is especially important for parents and spouses. Eating disorders are an illness. Even if you may have contributed to some unhealthy attitudes about weight and diet at some point in their life, there are all kinds of external factors that contribute to the development of an eating disorder, including societal influences and neurochemistry. Don’t dwell on those things you may regret saying. Instead, focus on supporting your loved one now.
2 . Don’t try to control their diet. If they’re at the point of seeking treatment, they’ll have a diet plan from a licensed professional. If they aren’t yet seeking treatment, trying to control what they eat is more likely to backfire than anything else.
3 . The most important thing you can do is make it clear that you’re here for them and that you support them. Make it clear repeatedly that you care about them and about their health, don’t try to control them or their behavior, and trust them to make good decisions–even if they don’t do that every time. Support can look different sometimes and can vary person to person. Sometimes someone may be looking for advice, while other times they may be looking for comfort. Some thrive from “tough love” while others need more empathy. If you are unsure what the person needs, ask! A great example of this is from when I was supporting a friend and their recovery journey. At the time, I didn’t know what kind of support the person was looking for, so I simply asked “what can I do to make you feel better?” Throughout their journey I would also ask “Are you looking for advice or comfort right now?” If you are unsure what you can do to support the person, it never hurts to clarify what kind of help the person is looking for.
4 . Never compare them to other people. Everyone’s experience with disordered eating is unique, and ultimately tied to their own background, beliefs, and neurochemistry. Take their recovery journey as it comes, and have patience.
5 . Remember to listen to their feelings, not just focus on their behaviors. They may be feeling guilt, shame, defiance, helplessness, anger, and a host of other difficult emotions. The best thing you can do is listen to them, support them, and validate those feelings.
How do you navigate the balance between offering support and respecting the autonomy of a loved one with an eating disorder?
The key here is to recognize the difference between pointing out their behaviors and their consequences and conditioning your support on certain behaviors. If they haven’t been keeping up with their treatment plan, by all means, let them know. But don’t stop loving them, and don’t withdraw your support because of this.
Is there a message you would like to tell someone who may be reading this, who is currently struggling with an eating disorder?
I won’t pretend that recovery is easy or simple, but it is possible. It takes time, though. The sooner you reach out for help, no matter how hard it might be, the sooner you can find a way through this.
In your experience, what are the most effective strategies for building resilience and a positive self-image in individuals recovering from an eating disorder?
It takes time, and it takes repetition. You’ve got to build regular healthy habits that you’ll be able to stick with for the long run. This includes working with professionals to develop healthy coping mechanisms that don’t relate to food, un-learn strict rules around eating, and rebuild a healthier relationship with food from the bottom up.This is going to take a long time, a lot of discipline, and a broad support network that includes friends, family, people with similar experiences, and trained professionals.
What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that have helped people with this struggle? Can you explain why you like them?
While they have been on pause with their podcast for the past couple years, my favorite podcast is Dietitians Unplugged. It features two dietitians who discuss topics on health and wellness from an anti-diet perspective. I like this podcast because they believe in Health at Every Size and Intuitive Eating, and they also bring some humor to lighten things up! Another podcast I like is Brain Over Binge; binge eating disorders are the most prevalent in the states but also the least understood. The host provides education around binging, and also brings in personal and professional stories. A resource I wish more people knew about is The Eating Disorder Foundation. They provide non-clinical support for those suffering from an eating disorder as well as their loved ones. While they are based out of Denver, they provide remote services for those all throughout the country. Please visit their site to learn how you may benefit from their services. https://www.eatingdisorderfoundation.org/
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the largest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
A movement that I would inspire that would bring the most amount of good to the largest amount of people would be the “let them” movement. “Let them” speaks to the fact that we cannot control others’ behaviors, but we can control how we respond. Instead of trying to change how others act, we should let their actions speak for themselves. I think this movement also helps to prove who is there for you, and who isn’t. It helps to shed light on those who want to be there for you.
How can our readers continue to follow your work online?
Readers can visit my website where I will announce when my private practice is established and they can learn more about me from there! https://catherinerall16.wixsite.com/website
My LinkedIn is www.linkedin.com/in/catherine-rall-731b50208
I am also partnered with https://happyv.com/ to provide insight to customers seeking specific nutritional guidance about a variety of topics.
Thank you so much for these insights! This was so inspiring!
Catherine Rall of Happy V On How To Support A Loved One Who Is Struggling With An Eating Disorder was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.