Focus on personal values — Being clear on what your top 5 personal values are will help you stay focused on the elements that are important to you and you’ll know what to look for in a potential partner. If he doesn’t align with them, he’s not the one for you. Oftentimes we hope that the other person will change and end up sharing our values if we give them time. They won’t, so don’t waste your time and energy.
In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, finding and maintaining meaningful romantic relationships can be a daunting task. From navigating dating apps to managing expectations in a digital age, there are numerous challenges individuals face in their quest for love. Through this series, we would like to explore the complexities of modern dating and relationships, offering insights, advice, and strategies for navigating the often confusing landscape of love in the 21st century. In this series, we are talking to experts in psychology, relationship coaching, sociology, matchmaking, and individuals with personal experiences navigating the modern dating scene, to share their knowledge, perspectives, and stories. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Nadia Edwards.
Nadia (nay-dee-uh) Edwards, is an expert GenX Dating Coach and podcast host, who specializes in guiding single women over 40 to find lasting love. With a compassionate yet straightforward approach, she draws from her own experience of finding her life partner in just 30 days, to empower women in their dating journey. Through her popular podcast, Grown and Tender, she delves into topics such as effective dating strategies and financial compatibility. As a dynamic speaker, Nadia shares her personal story of heartbreak, inspiring women to break patterns and make empowered choices. As a coach, she assists clients in healing, identifying personal values, and implementing successful dating strategies. Many of her clients are successful, independent women who struggle to find compatible partners, but Nadia helps them overcome self-doubt and cultivate meaningful connections. When not offering dating advice, she enjoys traveling the world with her husband, aspiring to help her clients achieve similar joy and fulfillment in their relationships.
Thank you so much for your time! I know that you are a very busy person. Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us your “Origin Story”? Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?
Absolutely! Let’s see.
I was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY, by a loving and hard working single mother. Since childhood, I was always introverted and preferred to do things on my own. I’ve had a passport since I was an infant, so I love to travel.
My upbringing instilled in me a strong sense of family, independence, and integrity which have guided me throughout my life. I’m incredibly grateful for the love and support of my mother, who always encouraged me to pursue my dreams and not let disappointment deter me from it but understand that it’s part of the journey.
As I navigated through adulthood, I discovered my love for ballroom dancing and developed an interest in business and finance. I’ve had careers in the financial services and utility industries. These experiences laid the foundation and are what shaped me into the person I am today.
Can you tell us a bit about what you do professionally, and what brought you to this specific career path?
I’m an expert GenX Dating Coach. I guide single women over 40 to find the man that she wants to share her life with.
Now I didn’t set out to be a dating coach. While in my 40s I was having a hard time finding a man to be in a committed relationship with and by a hard time, I mean I got my heart broken. It was a pivotal moment where I realized, actually I admitted to myself, that I didn’t know how to date so I hired a dating coach. The dating coach was good but he didn’t completely understand my midlife dating needs. So, I did what he recommended but I added in the elements that were more aligned with my needs and life situation. From there I developed a 4-step system that helps women, just like me, to find a life partner.
Look there’s a lot of dating advice out there that overlooks the needs of successful women in midlife. I knew I had to help them.
You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
The three character traits that I think contribute most to my success are analytical thinking, strategic planning, and communication skills.
Having strong analytical skills, allows me to assess and understand the unique needs and dating goals of my clients. I’m able to identify her dating patterns, and uncover any fears or misconceptions that she has about dating. With this I’m able to develop tailored strategies and solutions to help her overcome them and achieve her love story.
Now strategic planning is a game changer because it allows me to break down her relationship vision into actionable yet manageable steps. The strategic plan really helps maximize her chances of success and lessen any feelings of being overwhelmed.
My communication skills have been key for bonding with my clients and providing guidance and support throughout the dating process. This includes being a great listener, asking meaningful questions, and offering solutions. You see the partnership that I build with my clients is built on trust, understanding, and mutual respect.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Oh yes! I’m so excited to share that I’m working on an exclusive webinar “Love Spark: 3 Steps to Ignite Your Dating After 40”. It’s tailored for single women over 40 who are ready to revitalize their love lives and find a lasting romantic connection.
It will offer valuable insights focusing on the unique experiences and challenges of women navigating the dating world in their 40s and beyond.
Ready to reignite your love life after 40? Join the waitlist for my upcoming webinar “Love Spark: 3 Steps to Ignite Your Dating After 40”. Don’t miss out — secure your spot on the waitlist now by visiting nadiaedwards.com!
For the benefit of our readers, can you briefly tell our readers why you are an authority on the topic of dating and finding love?
I’m a blend of expertise, experience, and empathy. It all started with my own dating journey — I’ve been there! I understand what it’s like to have all these accomplishments under your belt and yet not be successful in finding your person.
I found my life partner while juggling a demanding career and being a single parent, by applying the strategies I share with my clients. I relate to the ups, downs, trying to find the time, and everything in between that comes with dating in midlife. My dating journey has equipped me with invaluable insights and first hand knowledge.
My approach is tailored to the unique experiences of women over 40. Drawing from my own success under similar circumstances, I adapt strategies to fit her individual needs and situation.
You see, dating is wonderfully nuanced, frustrating, and if done right, you end up with a beautiful love story — that’s where I come in.
Ok. Thank you for that. Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about ‘How To Navigate Our Complicated Modern World To Find Love’. Based on your experience, what is a common root cause of the “inability to find love”?
Ah, now we’re getting into the good stuff!
From my experience, a common root cause is women keep dating their type. Some don’t even realize they have this dating pattern. Now a type can be his physical traits, personality traits, or both. The interesting part is that these are based on her early childhood experiences with a primary caregiver — so the person that raised her.
Women who find themselves unable to find a committed romantic partner are going for men that have characteristics that feel familiar which are connected to that feeling from an earlier experience. And those could be good or bad ones. Here’s the thing, when you keep dating your type you’re limiting your chances of meeting the man that you can enjoy life with.
As a dating coach, I guide my clients through an exercise where I ask her to reflect on her last two relationships and write down the things that drew her to each of the men. Doing this exercise allows you to take a step back and refocus before diving back into the same dating pool and expecting to meet someone different.
Here’s the thing, when you refocus and are clear on what you’re looking for in a partner, the dating world becomes a lot less complicated.
What are some common misconceptions or myths about finding love in the modern world, and how can they be debunked?
Ok, let’s tackle a couple of those. There are two misconceptions that I often hear from my clients: all the good men are already taken and looking for chemistry.
So the misconception that all the good men are already taken stems from a scarcity mindset and it’s so important to avoid this kind of fear based mentality. Instead you should believe that there’s an abundance of available men that are aligned with your values and will love you the way you want to be loved.
There are plenty of wonderful, available men that’ll make great partners and they’re looking for a woman to be their partner too. In fact, there’s a study that shows 55% of single men over 40 want to be in a committed relationship.
Another common misconception is relying on chemistry as the indication he’ll make a good partner. You’ve just met a man and you have this instant connection — you feel a sizzle — and suddenly feel that he’s your soulmate — it’s the abracadabra. Unfortunately, most relationships that start with the feeling of chemistry or that sizzle, fizzle out as quickly as they started. So instead of looking for chemistry, look for compatibility. That’s the relationship building sweet spot. Take the time to see if you have a lot in common and are able to communicate effectively to work through conflict.
I share techniques with my clients that help build resilience to overcome these misconceptions and move towards the loving relationship that she desires.
What advice do you have for individuals who feel overwhelmed or disillusioned by the challenges of modern dating, and how can they maintain hope and optimism in their search for love?
One of the things is to honor those feelings of overwhelm and try to uncover where these feelings are coming from.
Are you clear on what you really want in a relationship and why you want it? Use this understanding as your relationship compass and allow it to help you stay focused. It will help you feel less overwhelmed or disillusioned by the challenges of modern dating.
It’s so important to trust the relationship that you have with yourself to the point where when you’re out meeting men, you’re paying attention to, and deciding, whether or not this person will be a good fit to enter that relationship.
Oftentimes we want to skip through the steps and go from a first date straight to a committed relationship because of instant chemistry. It’s the abracadabra! But when the date doesn’t turn into a relationship or he ghosts you, the feelings of overwhelm and disillusionment arise.
By staying true to your values and lifestyle preferences, being open to new experiences, and embracing the journey with patience, you’ll be able to navigate the highs and lows of modern dating with hope, focus, and confidence.
Know that the person you want exists and the way to find him is through the dating process and disappointments are a part of it.
Let’s explore how the rise of social media and dating apps has impacted the way individuals approach and experience dating and relationships. Can you share a few dos and don’ts about how to use social media to find love?
Social media is definitely an option to meeting potential partners, it also presents unique challenges. Online platforms are where many dating scammers look for their next victim. Their sole purpose is to find out as much as they can about you and make you feel as if there’s an instant connection. Dating scammers understand the desire that women have for this and they hone in on it.
So when it comes to using social media to find love, some dos and don’ts to keep in mind:
Do:
- Be yourself online and avoid using misleading filters. Use your online presence to highlight your personality, interests, and even some of your values. This allows any potential partners to get a sense of who you are and if they’re interested they’ll reach out to you.
- Approach interactions on social media with caution and positivity. If someone DMs you or vice versa, engage in the conversation and be respectful in the interactions.
- Use the privacy settings to help control who can view your profile and interact with you. So if your profile is set to private then someone has to request access to you. This allows you to view their profile and decide if you want to accept the or deny the request. Whether your profile is private or public feel free to block, unfollow, or report anyone that is not aligned with your values.
- Think twice about sharing your personal details online, like the street you live on or the coffee shop that you go to every morning.
Don’t:
- Compare your dating life to others’ reels or stories on social media. Social media continues to showcase the movie version of dates and comparison can lead to feelings of insecurity or more frustration.
- Only rely on social media for finding love. These platforms are tools that should be used for connecting with potential partners, then meeting them in person if there’s mutual interest. But you should enjoy your hobbies, pursue your interests, and be open to meeting potential partners while doing so.
- Avoid telling someone all the details about you or your family too soon. It’s important to maintain a sharing boundary to protect your privacy and well-being.
With a well thought out approach, social media can be a useful tool for finding love.
Can you share a few dos and don’ts about how to use dating apps to find love?
There’s a love-hate relationship with dating apps for both men and women. It’s important to remember to treat it like a tool and don’t rely on it to be the only way to meet people.
Here are some dos and don’ts that should help:
Do:
- Create a profile that is genuine so that you can attract the person that you want. And use clear, recent photos that show you at your best.
- Keep an open mind when swiping through profiles and consider connecting with men who don’t fit your type. Remember to look more for compatibility.
- Ask open-ended questions and pay attention to their response to see if there’s alignment with your values.
Don’t:
- Become emotionally invested in a match too soon. The initial interaction should be casual with a plan to meet in person, if there’s mutual interest.
- Settle for matches that aren’t aligned with your values or for the sake of convenience.
- Dismiss your gut instinct or let him persuade you to ignore his red flags with a sad story. Pay attention to the warning signs in conversations or in person meetings with matches.
Take your time to get to know someone and trust but verify what they tell you.
Can you share a few dos and don’ts about looking for romance in real-life physical spaces like congregations, bars, markets, and conventions?
While you’re looking for a romantic connection, definitely approach these spaces with intention and use your personal values as your relationship compass. Here are some dos and don’ts I recommend:
Do:
- Believe in your ability to find a partner. So when you’re in these physical spaces, be friendly, smile, make eye contact, and initiate a conversation on something that’s happening in the space.
- Be open to meeting someone who you may not typically be drawn to. It’s those unexpected meetings that tend to lead to a lasting romantic connection.
- Have 2–3 open ended questions ready to ask that will help you decide if you want to get to know this person more.
Don’t:
- Take it personal. Pay attention to his body language and energy level to gauge interest. Not every hello will turn into a romantic connection.
- Relax on your personal safety because the space seems safe. Always make sure to tell a trusted friend or relative where you are.
- Don’t be an interrogator. No one likes to feel like they’re being interrogated. Show genuine interest and allow for a more balanced conversation.
What are your thoughts about the challenges and opportunities that come with workplace romances?
I’ve spent about 30 years in a corporate environment and have seen or heard of workplace romances. Those are extremely challenging to manage not only for the couple but also for the colleagues who are aware of the romance. Not to mention the organization’s policies, protocols, and conflicts of interest.
I understand that when you spend most of your time in the workplace then it feels like the most natural place to meet a potential partner would be at the workplace but I highly recommend NOT doing it. Instead make the time to engage in activities outside of work, without your colleagues, and look for a connection outside of the workplace.
Can you discuss the role of vulnerability and authenticity in forming meaningful connections and finding lasting love?
By the time someone has entered midlife they have at least one heartbreak that they always remember. It’s the one that is really hard to talk about because it cuts so deep and mostly because they were fully vulnerable and authentic in that relationship.
So when you think about being vulnerable and authentic now, remembering the pain from that type of disappointment, now you kind of have your guard up to protect yourself. It’s not so easy to peel back the protective layers and let someone see the real you.
But being vulnerable and authentic are crucial in forming and building a lasting love. So let’s talk about vulnerability. Vulnerability is being open about your own feelings, experiences, without the fear of judgment or rejection. Brené Brown describes vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.”
Authenticity on the other hand is being true to your personality and values, regardless of the pressure to be something else.
Both of these work hand in hand to create a comforting space for both people to be ok with being themselves, to peel back those protective layers, so that connection and emotional intimacy can happen.
These are the foundations of lasting love, and work to attract a partner who will appreciate and love the real you and, not who you pretend to be.
Based on your experience or research, what are the “Five Things You Need To Navigate Our Complicated Modern World To Find Love”? If you can, please share a story or an example for each.
1 . Focus on personal values
Being clear on what your top 5 personal values are will help you stay focused on the elements that are important to you and you’ll know what to look for in a potential partner. If he doesn’t align with them, he’s not the one for you. Oftentimes we hope that the other person will change and end up sharing our values if we give them time. They won’t, so don’t waste your time and energy.
2 . Widen your comfort zone
Getting out of your comfort zone is not as easy as it sounds. This is a root cause to why many revert when trying to make a change that’s not comfortable. I encourage my clients to expand their comfort zone which means to do what you like but also include something new, do something that you’ve never done. The act of adding a new activity into your life makes your comfort zone wider and opens more opportunities to meet the person that you want to spend your life with.
3 . Be vulnerable and authentic
Having the courage to show your imperfections and acknowledge your fears, and express your feelings without hesitation, is where meaningful connection happens. We’re all looking for that person that we don’t feel we have to perform for and they love us anyway. If you’re not ready to be vulnerable and authentic, then you’re not ready to find love, yet.
4 . Love is not a fairy tale
Most of us have a fairy tale, a movie, a book, even a reel, that has a romantic story that we connect with and desire. We see ourselves in that moment. We want the music, the outfit, for him to say the words just like that and be that character — just a perfect love story. Real love is nuanced and it takes communication, listening, handling conflict, respecting the other’s perspective although you don’t agree with it — that’s real love. It’s the stuff that’s cut from the scene. Love takes time — not abracadabra.
5 . Coaching
Coaching is widely accepted when someone is ready to master something, move to a higher level. It’s widely accepted and expected for athletes and executives, but when it comes to love, not so much. Many feel like they can do it themselves, although they have the failed relationships that say otherwise. Yet there’s hesitation when it comes to dating better. To date better means we have to reevaluate what we’ve been taught about it through the media, and stop hoping we’re doing it right. This is why there is so much confusion and frustration when it comes to finding love and attracting a partner. If you want to find your person, hire a dating expert to help you refocus. Dating is a skill that can be learned with a dating coach.
Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources related to this topic that you would recommend to our readers?
There are so many to choose from. Here are a few of my favorites.
Books
How to Not Die Alone by Logan Ury
Break the Cycle by Dr. Mariel Buque
Podcasts
Grown and Tender with Nadia Edwards
Cheaper Than Therapy with Dene Logan
Big Dating Energy with Jeff Guenther
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
This is a deep question.
If I could start a movement, it would be centered around promoting awareness and healing of intergenerational trauma, empowering people to break the cycle of inherited patterns and create loving, supportive relationships. By fostering understanding and support for our own and our partners’ past experiences, we can nurture deeper connections, resilience, and lasting love for generations to come.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Follow me on social media @genxdatingcoach or go to nadiaedwards.com
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
Nadia Edwards On How To Navigate Our Complicated Modern World To Find Love was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.