…Purpose Beyond Profit: A book should serve a higher purpose. It should aim to provide value, inspire, or educate. Whether it’s sharing knowledge, telling a compelling story, or advocating for a cause, having a clear purpose will drive your writing and make the book more meaningful to readers…
I had the pleasure of talking with Cynthia Corsetti. Cynthia is a distinguished Executive and Career Transition Coach, widely recognized for her expertise in leadership development and career strategy. With over 2,500 hours of direct coaching experience and more than 15 years at the highest levels of corporate leadership, Corsetti has established herself as a key figure in the realm of executive coaching. Her credentials include a Master’s Degree in Organizational Leadership, certification as a Senior Professional in Human Resources (SHRM-SCP), and multiple coaching certifications, including those from the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and NLP Master Practitioner programs.
Corsetti’s journey to becoming a sought-after coach and keynote speaker is rooted in her early experiences and the obstacles she overcame. She grew up in a small steel town, where traditional gender roles and expectations shaped her early beliefs about success and happiness. These formative years were marked by a belief system that prioritized marriage and family over personal achievement, which she later identified as a significant barrier to her own success.
Reflecting on her childhood, Corsetti recalls a pivotal moment when her father read to her from a suggestive magazine, insinuating that emulating the women depicted was the key to happiness and security. This incident left a profound impact on her psyche, influencing her life choices for years to come. It wasn’t until Corsetti hit a low point, grappling with feelings of inadequacy and a string of personal and professional missteps, that she began to question and ultimately transform these limiting beliefs.
Through extensive self-study and introspection, Corsetti traced her challenges back to their roots and started reshaping her mindset. She pursued higher education, earning a Bachelor of Science in Education and later a Master’s in Organizational Leadership. This academic journey, combined with her real-world corporate experiences, equipped her with the tools to help others navigate their own professional paths.
Corsetti’s career in corporate America began somewhat unexpectedly. Initially aiming for a role as an executive assistant, she was encouraged by a CEO to pursue a position in HR instead. This opportunity proved to be a turning point, leading her to a successful career in corporate leadership and, eventually, to executive coaching. She credits this pivotal moment to the CEO’s ability to see potential in her that she hadn’t yet recognized in herself.
Over the past two decades, Corsetti has developed and refined her unique approach to coaching, focusing on helping high achievers navigate corporate politics, build influence, and leverage their positions for growth. Her methods emphasize the importance of self-awareness, strategic communication, and relationship-building. These principles are the cornerstone of her coaching programs, which include executive coaching, career transition programs, and high-level team coaching solutions.
Corsetti’s work also delves into the concept of “dark drivers,” the hidden, subconscious influences that affect our behaviors and decisions. She explores this idea in her newly released book, where she shares stories of clients who have overcome significant personal and professional challenges by identifying and addressing their own dark drivers. These narratives highlight the importance of empathy and self-awareness in leadership, illustrating how understanding one’s own struggles can enhance one’s ability to lead others with compassion.
One notable story from her book involves a client named Nick, who grew up in a conservative Christian home and struggled with his identity as a gay man. This client’s journey to self-acceptance and professional success underscores the profound impact of early experiences on adult behavior. Corsetti’s coaching helped Nick recognize the influence of his past and develop strategies to navigate his career and personal life more effectively.
Beyond her professional endeavors, Corsetti is an “off the charts” ENFP, drawing energy from her interactions with others. She enjoys working on her golf game, staying fit at the gym, and spending quality time with her family. Her dynamic personality and unwavering commitment to her clients have made her a respected and influential figure in the coaching community.
Corsetti’s mission is to empower leaders to build resilient teams and create lasting organizational legacies. She believes that by fostering empathy and understanding, leaders can create environments where individuals are encouraged to reach their full potential. Her work continues to inspire and equip professionals to achieve their goals and make meaningful impacts in their organizations and beyond.
Yitzi: Cynthia, it’s such a delight to talk to you. Before we dive in deep, our readers would love to learn about your personal origin story. Can you share the story of your childhood and how you grew up?
Cynthia: I grew up in a small steel town and learned very young to have a solid work ethic. But there were always things I grew up believing I was supposed to be. I think those beliefs were a big roadblock in how long it took me to be successful. If you don’t believe you’re supposed to be a success, if you don’t believe certain things in the world are for you, you don’t go for them. I grew up in a circumstance where my parents believed that girls were supposed to get married, have children, live happily ever after, and learn to type just in case your husband dies. So, you grow up with that mindset and just don’t strive. I think that was the biggest roadblock in my life.
Yitzi: So what led you to this point in your career as a successful business strategist? How did you start from where you described to your successful career?
Cynthia: A lot of it was overcoming some of the past beliefs I had. Life is about the stories we tell ourselves. I was able to recognize that, just by sheer luck, I think. I got to such a low point and felt so inadequate and insecure. I was screwing up my life left and right, up and down — marriages, kids, just everything I touched. I couldn’t do that anymore. So, I had to figure out what was causing it. Why was I doing this? I studied and did self-work, right? I learned about what I was telling myself, what stories I believed about myself, and why I believed them.
I traced it all back to a very early memory. One specific one was when my father sat me on his lap to read me a story. I think I was four, maybe five, pretty little. My parents didn’t read us stories — they were workers, not college-educated, just worker bees. My dad sat me on his lap, smoking his pipe and drinking what I guess was whiskey. I remember it was a grown-up drink smell. He said he had a story to read before I went to bed. He leaned over, picked up a Playboy magazine, and started paging through it. He said, “This is what you’re supposed to be. This is what will make you happy when you grow up. If you can be this, you will always be safe, always taken care of, and men will like you.”
I thought I had been handed phenomenal wisdom, but it screwed up my psyche. I believed I wasn’t supposed to achieve anything except to look like a Playboy model, which, by the way, is not so easy to do. I’m five-three, not the Playboy model type. So, I struggled with that growing up and going through life. My whole goal became finding a man to make me happy, keep him happy, and keep me safe. I made bad choices and found myself in a really negative place. It wasn’t until I traced all of that back and realized all my choices stemmed from that moment.
Not going to college, getting married at 19, having kids so young — everything I did stemmed from that day. That’s when I started turning it all around, changing my beliefs, changing my limiting beliefs, going back to school, getting the degree, and becoming who I am now.
Yitzi: None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Do you have a story about a person who made an impact on your professional life that you’d like to share? A story of a person who went out of their way, didn’t have to do an act of kindness, but made a long-term impact on your professional life?
Cynthia: There was a gentleman who was a CEO. When I was going through a lot of changes — divorce, being a single mom, trying to get jobs — I didn’t have a degree at the time. I had an undergrad degree in education, but I was out there in corporate America trying to make a go of it. I thought the best thing I could become was an executive assistant. I wanted to be the executive assistant to this CEO. I saw a job, applied for it, and went in for the interview. As I sat across from this CEO, I said, “I want to be your executive assistant.”
He talked to me a little, asked me some questions. About half an hour into the interview, he said to me, “You’re not an executive assistant.” My heart sunk. Then he said, “I see more for you. I think I’d like to put you in charge of HR.” This was a small tech startup, and I didn’t even know what HR was, to be totally honest. But he hired me, and that was my entrance into corporate America. I took that opportunity and ran with it. I learned, took a course in HR, got my certification, and then went back to school for my master’s degree in organizational leadership. Everything took off from there because he saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself.
Yitzi: You have so much amazing work. Can you share with us the exciting projects you’re working on now? Particularly, I’d like to hear about your new book. Please tell us about it and why we all have to buy it.
Cynthia: Well, as I shared with you, that story was kind of the impetus for the book. As I climbed higher in corporate, became an executive, and then eventually started my own coaching business, I learned that the most successful people I interacted with had their own struggles. They were dealing with childhood traumas or early career traumas. I found ways to help them work through these issues, identify them, and change their belief systems.
I realized this story needs to be told. People need to know they’re not alone. Even successful CEOs are dealing with this stuff. I came up with the name “dark drivers” because they are hidden so far in your subconscious that you’re not even aware they impact your behaviors every day. My book is about helping people identify if they have these dark drivers and how they affect them. It’s not a psychology book — I’m not a psychologist, nor do I pretend to be one. I discuss how coaching overlaps with therapy and how these dark drivers manifest.
For example, in the book, I talk about a brilliantly intelligent man with a PhD who nobody wanted to work with because he was obnoxious and loud. He wasn’t succeeding professionally because people were tired of him. In our coaching sessions, we traced this behavior back to his childhood. As the youngest of seven children, he had to scream for attention. When he felt ignored in meetings, it triggered that behavior. Once he understood this, he could control it by stepping out of meetings and reminding himself that he didn’t need to act like a seven-year-old for attention.
That’s a dark driver impacting his career growth, but not so deeply buried that it required therapy. We solved it through coaching. However, some dark drivers, like growing up thinking you’re supposed to be a Playboy model, require therapy, coaching, and a lot of self-work.
So, the book is my passion project to help people understand that whether these issues are severe or minor, they still impact your life and future. And you can deal with them.
Yitzi: You already mentioned two great stories from your book. Can you share with us one more of your favorite stories that you share in your book?
Cynthia: I think one of my favorites is about Nick. Nick is in his late forties. He shares his story of growing up gay in a very conservative Christian home and how that experience impacted every choice he made. It got to the point where he found himself one day hanging off the edge of a bridge, ready to commit suicide because they were going to send him to gay conversion therapy.
The story talks about how those childhood influences and experiences led him to that point and how it impacted his career, his life choices, his business decisions, who he could choose as clients, and who he’d lose as clients. When he was able to trace it all back and realize that these dark drivers and behaviors were coming from his earliest memories of being told he wasn’t lovable or okay, it was transformative.
Yes, he also had therapy, but the coaching helped. That’s one of the stories that means a lot to me. All the stories in the book are true. The names have been changed to protect privacy, but these were real clients who were gracious enough to let me share their stories. I’ve worked with some of them for six, seven, eight years or more as their coach. They recorded their stories on audio, so I had hours and hours of listening to them, which was so touching. Even though I had worked with them and known them, getting into their stories that much more deeply was impactful.
The goal of the book is to take all of those stories and experiences and help people become better leaders. It’s about helping all of us have more empathy and understanding that empathy is critical in leadership. If I have dark drivers, then I know that you, the person I’m leading, have dark drivers too. I don’t need to know what they are or try to fix them for you as your leader, but I need to have empathy and understand that you’re coming from a place that is just as broken as the rest of us. So, have some compassion.
Yitzi: Wow. So it sounds like the purpose of your book isn’t necessarily for people to solve their dark drivers, but rather it’s for each of us to be empathetic that people have dark drivers and to be cognizant of that in how we deal with them and what we expect from people and how we interact. Am I correct?
Cynthia: Yes, and it’s also for us to recognize our own dark drivers first, to do our own self-work, and hopefully solve them — not necessarily through the book alone. I have a course that goes with the book that you can work through, but it might take counseling or years of work. You’re not going to solve everything by reading a 148-page book. Ultimately, I want you to be able to solve and work through your dark drivers. They’ll always be there, but it’s about managing them better.
More importantly, we are at work every day in an environment filled with division, hatred, and complexities that have never been there before. When you add the fact that we all have these dark drivers inside of us, it can feel overwhelming. Through the book, with its questions, self-reflection, and understanding, you can see how just knowing this about another person can help you look at them more softly.
For example, if someone is being an obnoxious jerk in a meeting, instead of just thinking, “Oh my gosh, he’s an obnoxious jerk again, I’m going to fire him,” you step back and be a little more compassionate and understanding. You’re not becoming their therapist; you’re just having more empathy.
Yitzi: Amazing. So part of the aim of your book is to help increase awareness of the priority of empathy in our lives. Can you suggest a few things we can do as individuals, as a community, and as a society to increase empathy? What can we do to support your mission?
Cynthia: I think, honestly, empathy begins by acknowledging that you yourself have struggled. You don’t have to have the same struggle as someone else. I did not grow up as a young gay man in a very conservative Christian home, but I can certainly empathize with this young gay man because I had my own struggles. I know what it feels like to feel that pain.
People often confuse empathy, thinking it means putting yourself in someone else’s shoes or knowing exactly what they’re going through. It’s not that. You’re not going to know what someone else is going through. Very few people can tell me they understand what it’s like to grow up believing that if you don’t look like a Playboy model, you won’t be happy, safe, or secure. And that’s fine because you’ve gone through your own struggles and pains.
Empathy is about acknowledging the humanity in each of us and being compassionate because of that shared human experience. It’s recognizing that we all have our own battles and treating each other with kindness and understanding. As individuals, we can practice self-reflection, understanding our own dark drivers and struggles, and then extend that understanding to others. As a community and society, we can promote open conversations about these struggles and create environments where people feel safe to share and be vulnerable. By doing so, we foster a culture of empathy and compassion.
Yitzi: So you’ve written a book, and I’m sure you learned so many lessons from your experience. Can you share with our readers, based on your experience, five things you need to know to write a successful book?
Cynthia: Sure! Here are five things that I believe are necessary for writing a successful book:
1. Passion for Your Topic: Make sure you feel passionate about what you’re writing about. Don’t write a book because you think you’re going to make a fortune. The book should be a tool to help deliver a message you believe in. For me, it’s about helping leaders because I am passionate about leadership. So, your book should have a purpose beyond being a financial success or a launching point for your career.
2. Purpose Beyond Profit: A book should serve a higher purpose. It should aim to provide value, inspire, or educate. Whether it’s sharing knowledge, telling a compelling story, or advocating for a cause, having a clear purpose will drive your writing and make the book more meaningful to readers.
3. Discipline and Commitment: Writing a book requires a significant amount of time and effort. I wrote my book in about a year, but it was much more time-consuming than I had imagined. From listening to and transcribing recordings to pulling out the key lessons and shaping them into coherent chapters, the process demands discipline and dedication.
4. Accept Imperfection: You’re never going to be completely satisfied with the final product. No matter what anyone tells you, you’ll always think, “I could have done that better” or “I wish I had included this.” Give yourself grace and recognize that completing the book and sharing your message is a significant accomplishment in itself.
5. Plan for Publishing: Know your plan for publishing before you start. I worked with a manuscript service, and they really held my hand throughout the process. Having a clear publishing plan, whether it’s traditional publishing, self-publishing, or using a service, will help you navigate the complexities of getting your book out into the world.
Yitzi: Amazing. This is our aspirational question. So, Cynthia, because of the great work that you’re doing and the platform that you’ve built, you’re a person of enormous influence and people take your words very seriously. If you could spread an idea or inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be?
Cynthia: If I were to start a movement right now, it would be about understanding that we’re all human and that perfection is not achievable. Even at this point in my life, after overcoming my dark drivers, I’m still trying everything to stay vibrant and relevant. But relevance isn’t measured by how you look or feel — it’s measured by what you do in the world.
I want people, especially the younger generation of women, who are much better at this than my generation was, to know that they don’t have to be perfect. Perfection is self-destructive and impossible to achieve. I want every leader, executive, new manager, woman, and man to know that they’re okay just as they are. Do their best. The legacy they leave will be who they are as a human, not what they look like or what they achieved.
Yitzi: So how can our readers purchase your book? How can they continue to follow your work and support you in any way possible?
Cynthia: Thank you for that question. My website is CynthiaCorsetti.com. The book is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble, as well as other platforms. It’s available in both Kindle and paperback formats. There’s also a course that goes with the book. If you read the book and want to go further and deeper into it, there’s a QR code in the back of the book that links to the course. Everything else is on my website, and I’m on LinkedIn all the time, so please connect with me there.
Yitzi: Thank you so much.
Cynthia: I appreciate the time very much.
Social Impact Authors: How & Why Author Cynthia Corsetti Is Helping To Change Our World was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.