Love Architect & Author Kailen Rosenberg On How To Navigate Our Complicated Modern World to Find…

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Love Architect & Author Kailen Rosenberg On How To Navigate Our Complicated Modern World to Find Love

…Be ever so mindful of what and who you surround yourself with. Do your friends who are in relationships, or married, have the relationship and or marriage you desire? Are your friends mostly climbing toward healing, truth, and self-growth, or are they lost in the judgment of themselves and/or others? Are they happy and at peace or complaining and pissed at life? What you surround yourself with is what you will have and is a good indicator of what you have left to heal within, before finding and experiencing the right partner…

In today’s fast-paced and interconnected world, finding and maintaining meaningful romantic relationships can be a daunting task. From navigating dating apps to managing expectations in a digital age, there are numerous challenges individuals face in their quest for love. Through this series, we would like to explore the complexities of modern dating and relationships, offering insights, advice, and strategies for navigating the often confusing landscape of love in the 21st century. In this series, we are talking to experts in psychology, relationship coaching, sociology, matchmaking, and individuals with personal experiences navigating the modern dating scene, to share their knowledge, perspectives, and stories. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Kailen Rosenberg.

Kailen a traditional matchmaker. She’s a renowned Love Architect, author and visionary who is on a mission to empower individuals to build loving, authentic relationships that not only bring joy, healing and fulfillment to their own lives but also contribute to creating a more loving and compassionate world. With her blueprint transformative approach to matchmaking and her commitment to building a better world one love story at a time, Rosenberg continues to redefine the landscape of modern love. Rosenberg is not only a gifted intuitive but also an authority in love and relationships, with specialized training in spiritual psychology, love, addiction and relationships. Her transformative work has touched the lives of thousands of singles globally, empowering them to find love, mend personal connections, overcome addictions and rejuvenate marriages.

Thank you so much for your time! I know that you are a very busy person. Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us your “Origin Story”? Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?

The origin story for my brand and business is based upon how I grew up. Raised by my grandparents who were incredibly loving and stable, and quite conservative, and by my teenage mother — a free-spirited hippy who leaned against society as she found herself on a deep spiritual path toward finding herself. I experienced life, and love, from very different angles. Ones that shaped how I saw love, and therefore, wanted to teach love.

I experienced both wealth with my grandparents and living in poverty with my mother. I lived on communes and at times in the foster care system. As a child, I visited my father behind bars as he lived out a prison sentence for selling drugs. I didn’t graduate high school after attending over 23 different schools by the time I was to graduate. To later, working with Oprah, becoming an author with Simon and Schuster, and working with NBC’s TODAY Show and many other media outlets advising on life and love (starting with oneself). My life and profession as a Love Architect has been quite the journey.

Can you tell us a bit about what you do professionally, and what brought you to this specific career path?

I am known as a Love Architect; one who architects, designs and builds strong and beautiful love lives, starting with each person’s foundation, no matter what or where they might be. My heart and mission, after experiencing all that I did as a child, has always been to teach and show this world how to love, so that in turn together, we can build a healthier and more loving society. What started as life coaching ‘before its time,’ in my early twenties and as a single mom, brought me unexpectedly to the world and industry of dating and matchmaking. I quickly saw the deep and true reality as to why finding and experiencing love and a healthy relationship, especially with the ‘right’ partner, was so darn difficult. So, I made it my mission to change that, one individual and couple at a time.

You are a successful leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success?

1. Passion for building a better world for all.

2. Crazy tenacity.

3. Tough as nails.

Can you please share a story or example for each?

1. As a child of a young, beautiful, incredibly intelligent and talented mother who had lost herself, was addicted to drugs and allowed herself to enter and stay in not just toxic but highly abusive relationships, I was not about to watch that go down on my watch in society, for other women, or children. I was blessed with the gift and awareness of what ‘love’ looks and feels like based upon your relationship with yourself and others. I took my childhood and my life since, very seriously, and have used it as a tool to help see into, love on, and guide many others, from the homeless to well-known celebrities, politicians and some of the most powerful families in the world. So, when people say that I am a ‘matchmaker,’ I’m a matchmaker who introduces people to their true and beautiful selves, while also to one another for the relationships they deserve so that in turn we have happier families and a better society.

2. I never give up. From not graduating high school to finishing online in my 30’s. To being told that I wasn’t educated enough formally to be considered an ‘expert’ with the press, to being considered and called upon as a leading expert who helps wildly educated experts with their PHDs heal their own lives and families, to struggling with reading and comprehension, to writing for one of the largest publishers, to working with Oprah. All while being shot at, shot down, almost bankrupt several times through different economies, especially as I learned the ways of running a business — it was like building a plane while it was in flight. My heart continues to stay on track as I know there’s a better way toward love for all, and they, we, so deserve it!

3. I’d say my prior answer sums up this answer yet add that I seek to see love in all that happens, no matter how difficult, giving me the strength and power to just keep going.

Are you working on any exciting new projects now?

I am always working on many projects. I am like a nutty professor at heart, always seeking ways to bring this world the love people seek and so deserve! Nonetheless, Mylovedesign.com and Mylovedesignfaith.com are two really cool projects that are just starting to gain momentum from some big names that you will be hearing about soon.

How do you think that will help people?

The My Love Design concept and process is based upon a 30-year proven methodology that has healed thousands of lives, by healing hundreds of marriages in route to divorce, helps people lose weight, kick addictions, heal depression, mend broken families, heal businesses, and has introduced thousands of love-seeking singles into the best relationships of their life. My Love Design is the world’s first online dating, lifestyle and wellness platform curated by a true expert and endorsed by global experts, with the desire to build a better world, with love.

For the benefit of our readers, can you briefly tell our readers why you are an authority on the topic of dating and finding love?

Personally, I have lived a lot of life when it comes to love and relationships — starting with my grandparents’ incredibly deep, committed and loving marriage and my mom and dad’s deeply in love yet painful and toxic marriage. I have been divorced and have been through deeply painful custody battles. Although I ended up winning, in the end, no one really wins. Today we have all healed and my ex is now one of my best friends. I have three sons from three different fathers, each man whom I loved, love, and are wonderful fathers. I have been in abusive relationships, relationships with narcissists and relationships with men struggling with addiction.

I have since been with my husband of 27 years, who I have a strong soul connection with. He is my very best friend and the love of my life, but things haven’t always been this way. It was love at first sight, and we were immediately drawn to be together. However, to make it to where we are today, we each realized past traumas of our own that needed healing so that we could truly and healthily love one another. Which is what we all need to do BEFORE entering into any relationship or we are blocking the greatest love that’s waiting. Our relationship is a true testament to the healing we have done. So, I have walked in many shoes.

Because of these experiences, I have the ability to see into others and help them. I pour every bit of my being into healing and helping others. I empower individuals to build loving, authentic relationships that not only bring joy, healing and fulfillment to their own lives but encourage others to implement love in their own lives.

Professionally, I am trained in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and certified as a master life, love and relationships coach with specialized training in addictions and trauma with nearly three decades of proven success in healing, coaching, dating and elite matchmaking. I have helped thousands of singles around the world from all walks of life, heal themselves, prepare for love, and find the love of their life. I have worked with some of the world’s top experts in love, dating and relationships and consider many of them my dearest friends and peers. I get what, why, and how singles and people sabotage love and I’m not going to sit back and be part of the problem, but instead call it out and help people fix it, because they deserve that, to be truly happy.

Ok. Thank you for that. Let’s now shift to the main part of our discussion about ‘How to Navigate Our Complicated Modern World to Find Love’. Based on your experience, what is a common root cause of the “inability to find love”?

The common root cause of the inability to find love is that most humans have never truly found love with themselves. Therefore, they have not experienced their amazing value or ability to have everything that they desire when it comes to love, attracting the right partner for them, or having a healthy relationship, that lasts.

What are some common misconceptions or myths about finding love in the modern world, and how can they be debunked?

The most common misconception or myth about finding love, especially in the modern world, is that most people no longer desire real or lasting love, which is simply not true. People, singles, are just more afraid to trust in love and their potential partner than ever before. With the craziness of technology as the way to find their soul’s true match, the media throwing a view of love that is either from the Hallmark Channel or Netflix Tinder Swindler, or the crazy attention with very few places to healthily turn placed on narcissism and narcissistic abuse. We are left feeling very little hope, leaving us in a space of lack of true self-awareness and trust when it comes to love along with just who, when or what to trust. Therefore, many give up on their deep and true loving identity and mirror what they see. This is seen with the use of all the deep filters used when simply seeking something that is meant to start with truth and authenticity. This must change, as in reality, there are still really amazing singles seeking true and authentic love. They just have very little healthy and effective rehouse to do so, hence, mylovedesign.com.

What advice do you have for individuals who feel overwhelmed or disillusioned by the challenges of modern dating, and how can they maintain hope and optimism in their search for love?

Know that real love is out there, waiting, ready for you at every turn. But first you must find it with yourself, know and learn your true value, not from ego but from you deep and highest self, honor that, and you will attract and find a love unlike ever before. Read my book “Real Love Right Now.” Join mylovedesign.com and build your LOVE HOUSE. Go to thelovearchitects.com and let’s work together to help you design and build the love and life you deserve, that has always been waiting, no matter your circumstances. Look at my life.

Let’s explore how the rise of social media and dating apps has impacted the way individuals’ approach and experience dating and relationships. Can you share a few dos and don’ts about how to use social media to find love?

DO: Know who you are, love who you are (not in ego), know and honor your value, never settle, and surround yourself with people who are where you want to go in life, or are heading in the same direction with you! Once you have that down, pay close attention to who and what you are following on social media and allowing into your head and psyche. Everything we do, say and think affects the outcome of our happiness. ALWAYS be true to who you are and what you are. If you must use filters on your photos when sharing what you look like, DON’T! Start real so you attract real people! If you feel that you must falsify the shape of your body, your life or your work, or you use your sexuality to entice instead of to honor, DON’T! If you are, STOP, you’re not ready, but you are still close, as you really do want to believe in and have true love, because deep inside, you do love yourself, you’ve either just never learned, or have forgotten how. Let’s do it right. Because you deserve it!

Be real on every front. Put exactly who you are out there, while also using good boundaries that honor you and your true values. Don’t try to be anything on any level that you’re not. Stop trying to be anything other than you and you will immediately weed out many who are NOT your person. When writing your bio, speak from your heart, your spunk, your wit and your view on life. That will turn the wrong partners off and the right partner on! Hold strong boundaries and spend time ‘vetting’ the reality of everyone you find attractive and intersecting. In time, with patience, your person will show up, as like you, they too are wondering where you are and are picturing that beautiful future with you.

Can you share a few dos and don’ts about looking for romance in real-life physical spaces like congregations, bars, markets, and conventions?

Slow down, watch and pay attention to the energy of those you find attractive. The ego can play many tricks on us. Those who start out gorgeous can turn out darn ugly in spirit and behavior. While those who you might find kind of ‘meh’ can end up being some of the sexiest, truly compatible and most wonderful partners you could ever desire. Many couples whom I’ve matched who are now very happily married shared with me in private, after first having met, that had they seen a photo of their partner prior to meeting them, they never would have found them particularly attractive and would have turned that match down. This is why I don’t share photos and why the majority of my marriages are deeply and incredibly happy and fulfilled! They met, connected and fell in love on a far deeper level than what most begin with, merely looks.

What are your thoughts about the challenges and opportunities that come with workplace romances?

They can be wonderful if healthy boundaries are put in place. The workplace offers a chance to spend a lot of time together. In real life and in many circumstances and challenges that most wouldn’t experience unless having dated for weeks or sometimes months.

Can you discuss the role of vulnerability and authenticity in forming meaningful connections and finding lasting love?

There is no true way to real love or a genuine bond with another if either is unable to be vulnerable and authentic. Period. That of course, comes with and from having healthy boundaries, not walls, and having experienced true love on some level. A wonderful test called The Real Reveal that I co-created with Drs. Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, shows singles the reality of what kind of mate they are when it comes to love, the kind of mates they attract and why. This depicts the kind of mate that is best suited for them to have the true and lasting love they deserve. I highly recommend it. You can find this test in step two of your LOVE HOUSE build at mylovedesign.com

Based on your experience or research, what are the “Five Things You Need to Navigate Our Complicated Modern World to Find Love”? If you can, please share a story or an example for each.

1. Know yourself, and what love and relationships mean to you, and why.

2. Be madly in love with yourself, not in ego, but in your highest self, so that you can not only attract the right partner and relationship but be the best partner so that the amazing soul you so desire sharing your life with can show up and be experienced.

3. Be sure that you have looked at, dealt with, and healed every wound you carry, not perfectly, as there is always work to do, but mostly. If you are a ‘reactor’ and a ‘fighter’ and not a calm place for curiosity and compassion as you deal with difficulty in your relationships, then you’re not quite ready for what you so seek and deserve.

4. Be ever so mindful of what and who you surround yourself with. Do your friends who are in relationships, or married, have the relationship and or marriage you desire? Are your friends mostly climbing toward healing, truth, and self-growth, or are they lost in the judgment of themselves and/or others? Are they happy and at peace or complaining and pissed at life? What you surround yourself with is what you will have and is a good indicator of what you have left to heal within, before finding and experiencing the right partner.

5. Never, ever, settle. If it doesn’t bring you joy, healing or growth — dump it.

Do you have any favorite books, podcasts, or resources related to this topic that you would recommend to our readers?

1. Real Love Right Now.

2. A Return to Love.

3. Mel Robbins’ podcast.

4. Jimmy On Relationships

You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

I’m doing it! A global love movement through the way we love one another, starting with ourselves, through dating healthily and authentically!

How can our readers further follow your work online?

www.thelovearchitects.com

www.Kai-len.com

www.Mylovedesign.com

The Love Happy Hour podcast

https://www.facebook.com/kailenrosenberglovearchitect/

https://www.instagram.com/TheLoveArchitects/

Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!


Love Architect & Author Kailen Rosenberg On How To Navigate Our Complicated Modern World to Find… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.