Erin Sabin of Her 2nd Chance On How To Support A Loved One Who Is Struggling With An Eating Disorder
Give yourself grace. You won’t always get it right. However, if you continue to learn from the struggling loved one, you will fall into a rhythm of what is acceptable to them and what is not.
Eating disorders are complex mental health conditions that affect millions worldwide, transcending age, gender, and cultural boundaries. They are not simply about food but involve a range of psychological, physical, and social issues. Supporting a loved one through this struggle can be challenging, requiring understanding, patience, and knowledge of the right approaches to truly make a difference.
In this series, we aim to shed light on the most effective ways to offer support, understanding and hope to those battling an eating disorder. We are talking to psychologists, nutritionists, doctors, therapists, and survivors, who can provide valuable perspectives on nurturing recovery, fostering resilience, and promoting healthy relationships with food and body image. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Erin Sabin.
Erin Sabin is the Executive Director of Her 2nd Chance, a non-profit social enterprise in Boca Raton, FL. The organization helps women in recovery from addiction, eating disorders, and other mental health issues rebuild their lives through paid employment in a recovery-supportive environment. Erin, herself an eating disorder survivor, offers an authentic and first-hand voice to the complexities facing both sufferers and their loved ones. A proud University of Miami alumna with degrees in Finance and Accounting, she has had a seasoned management career in both retail planning and financial services. Erin draws from her experience in both industries to lead Her 2nd Chance, which includes managing an e-commerce social enterprise and procuring invaluable grant funding. Her true passion lies in helping other women in recovery overcome challenges to become the women they were created to be.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series. Before we dive into our discussion, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you share with us the backstory about what brought you to your specific career path?
If you had told me five years ago I would lead a non-profit for women in recovery, I never would have guessed it! However, in hindsight, all the puzzle pieces fit together and prepared me for this very moment.
My degree is in Finance and Accounting. I spent the first decade of my career in retail planning. Most people are familiar with what a buyer for a retail corporation does. My role was to be the “wallet” for the buyer. I developed business strategies so that when we went to New York, I could tell the buyer exactly how much we had to spend on t-shirts and that they needed to be 40% black and 60% pink, for example. I draw on this experience almost daily in my current role as Executive Director of Her 2nd Chance, which includes a social enterprise that sells merchandise to self-fund a portion of our operating expenses.
After retail planning, I changed careers and began to help individuals with their financial plans as a Financial Advisor. Learning to operate as a fiduciary of other people’s money prepared me to oversee the grant funding our organization receives.
When I was offered the opportunity to join Her 2nd Chance in March of 2023, I was honored to work for an organization that allows women in recovery to transform into the people they were created to be. The organization gave me a second chance in 2019 when I was newly out of treatment. It is truly a full-circle moment to return and help other women on their path to self-sufficiency.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“In the end, everything will be okay. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” My mom had this engraved on a ring for me. When I need comfort, I find myself fidgeting with the ring. It reminds me to persevere until things work out. And that doesn’t mean they work out according to my plans or how I want them to, just that it will work itself out, one way or another. It’s also a reminder that we are not promised a life of sunshine and roses. Life gets life-y; there are ups and downs, but it will be okay.
Are you working on any exciting new projects now? How do you think that will help people?
Last year, we implemented our Bridge to Employment program, which provides one-on-one career mentoring, resume building, and mock interviews for every woman who enters our door. We plan to make this program even bigger by building employer connections in our community with businesses interested in second-chance employment. We hope to remove some of the stigma of having a gap in your resume and give our women the confidence to hold their heads high. We envision our Program Manager creating individual development plans with the women, walking right next to them through the job search and interview process from start to finish.
Also, we are launching a new website that will dramatically change our retail thumbprint. We have a shop on Etsy, an online global marketplace; however, we are ready for our e-commerce shop. It is a big undertaking! Our E-commerce Manager has been pivotal in keeping us on track and organized.
According to this study cited by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, at least 30 million people in the U.S. of all ages and genders suffer from an eating disorder. Can you suggest 3–5 reasons why this has become such a critical issue recently?
Since COVID, our country’s mental health issues have been exasperated. The isolation the pandemic brought about, the fear and worry, most Americans were not ready to cope with what we faced. Many found unhealthy ways to cope, like eating disorders or substance use.
We also live in a time when a “keeping up with the Joneses” mindset is prevalent. Social media use has magnified this. We see the highlight reels of others’ lives and attempt to make it our own. This comparison trap is running us into the ground, mentally.
Our culture also puts a tremendous amount of focus on the physical appearance of others. There is increased attention and the belief that we are free to comment on other peoples’ bodies! “She’s too big, she’s too thin, her hips are too wide,” etc. I read a statistic that 27% of 17–35 year-olds have had plastic surgery. There was so much distaste for a part of their body they felt compelled to change it. It’s heartbreaking to think of the mental anguish that must have preceded a decision like that. Unfortunately, for all these reasons, it is not a surprise to see the number of individuals suffering from an eating disorder.
Based on your insight, what concrete steps can a) individuals, b) corporations, c) communities, and d) leaders do to address the core issues that are leading to this problem?
Across the board, education is critical. Individuals, whether you are a person suffering from an eating disorder or know someone who is, seek professional help and lean on support from peers. Try to keep your stress levels in check with good self-care practices. Take breaks from or avoid social media if possible. Corporations can provide better resources for employees struggling with any mental health disorder and adhere to marketing and advertising practices that are inclusive and encourage body positivity. Communities can raise awareness through educational events and support local non-profits and mental health agencies actively working to address the issue. Leaders can advocate for policy changes and, overall, allocate more resources to agencies that are developing comprehensive strategies to tackle our nation’s mental health crisis.
As you know, one of the challenges of an eating disorder is the harmful, and dismissive sentiment of “Why can’t you just control yourself.” What do you think needs to be done to make it apparent that an eating disorder is an illness, just like heart disease or schizophrenia?
First, we must continue to educate others. We hear a lot about substance use abuse. Let’s shed the same amount of light on eating disorders. It is common for one to lead to the other and vice versa. That is my story. My eating disorder came first, and for years, I didn’t have anything to drink. However, by 30, I was drinking daily. I always say the eating disorder kept me numb until it didn’t. Then, I turned to something stronger.
An eating disorder isn’t a defect in someone’s moral character. It is a symptom of something much larger going on. For me, it hid a sexual assault by a classmate that occurred when I was 12. I was attempting to hide the pain and hatred I grew to have for my body. Keeping any secret inside like that is bound to come out one way or the other. The eating disorder became a way to punish myself. It had very little to do with the food itself.
Can you please share with our readers 5 ways to support a loved one who is struggling with an eating disorder? If you can, share an example from your own experience?
1 . Always lead with love and a willingness to understand.
2 . Listen to learn, not respond. When a loved one is ready to open up and share, be cautious about how much you pry into what they share. It is a gift that they are trusting you with, but it can just as quickly disappear if they feel you have turned the tables and are now interrogating them. I was very lucky that my mom let me come to her and share as I became ready. Now, I am an open book in the hopes of helping others. I assure you, it did not start that way!
3 . Respect physical boundaries. There were years I hated being hugged because I didn’t want anyone to touch my body. You don’t have to know or understand the reason why. However, please respect the wishes of your loved one when it relates to their body.
4 . Keep comments about their body off limits. They are acutely aware of whatever you may want to point out. Another reason I didn’t want to be hugged was because I knew I was frail and feared someone saying something about it.
5 . Give yourself grace. You won’t always get it right. However, if you continue to learn from the struggling loved one, you will fall into a rhythm of what is acceptable to them and what is not.
How do you navigate the balance between offering support and respecting the autonomy of a loved one with an eating disorder?
Let your loved one know they are loved no matter what, and you will support them in any way you can, but let them take the lead as far as sharing goes. Become an active listener. Also, seek professional or group support to help manage your fear and worry for your loved one.
Is there a message you would like to tell someone who may be reading this, who is currently struggling with an eating disorder?
All it takes is an ounce of hope.
In my darkest days, times when I didn’t want to live, I put one foot in front of the other, acting “as if” I could recover. There is a freedom in recovery that I can’t begin to describe. Ironically, I tell others I am the lightest I have been in years, not in terms of weight but freedom from thoughts, habits, and consuming obsession around my weight and food.
In your experience, what are the most effective strategies for building resilience and a positive self-image in individuals recovering from an eating disorder?
I’ve had to document times I have been resilient because I often forget what I have walked through. When faced with something similar, I still think: How will I survive this? I’ve already been through it and back a hundred times, and I survived! I still struggle with a positive self-image. It is the one lingering topic that my therapist and I continually go back to. Affirmations always fell flat for me. They never seemed genuine, even the ones I wrote for myself. I completed a self-compassion workbook with an exercise on creating wishes for yourself. For example, instead of “You are worthy,” it would be written as “My wish is to begin to see myself as worthy.” These wishes have proven helpful on my journey to a positive self-image. It’s an act of self-love to wish something positive for yourself.
What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that have helped people with this struggle? Can you explain why you like them?
I am an avid reader! Here is a list of books that have helped me in my recovery (in no particular order):
Father Hunger
Lost Connections
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
Healing the Shame that Binds You
Internal Family Systems (best used with a therapist)
Each of these shed light on how I got to where I was in my struggles with the eating disorder. In turn, it helped me heal. I’m old school and still like to highlight and write in my books. Each of these is marked up from cover to cover. That’s the sign of a good book for me!
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the largest amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would love to see sweeping reform to health care benefits for those suffering from an eating disorder. During one of my treatment stays, my insurance cut off after two weeks because I was in a healthy weight range. This is about so much more than weight. I hope that someone with a real understanding of eating disorders will pave the way for the insurance companies to help educate them. In the long run, it cost more money because I was back in treatment the following two years. This is a progressive disease that gets worse if recovery can’t be established.
How can our readers continue to follow your work online?
Keep an eye on our new website, her2ndchance.org, and follow us on social media, instagram.com/her2ndchance
Thank you so much for these insights! This was so inspiring!
Erin Sabin of Her 2nd Chance On How To Support A Loved One Who Is Struggling With An Eating… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.