Don’t hold on to people who are not holding on to you. Let go and allow folks to see the value of being in a relationship with you from afar. Sometimes having a bit of space helps people appreciate one another.
As part of my series about “authors who are making an important social impact”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Kamilah Majied.
Dr. Kamilah Majied is a mental health therapist, tenured professor, researcher, and internationally engaged consultant on building inclusivity and equity using meditative practices. She teaches clinical practice to graduate students as well as research methods, social and organizational policy analysis, and community organizing through a social justice lens. She is the author of the book “Joyfully Just: Black Wisdom and Buddhist Insights for Liberated Living.”
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
Let me tell you a bit about who I am. My favorite moniker is Lailah Majied’s daughter. When I walk through Buddhist centers in New Jersey, the local elders rarely remember my name and always say, “Oh, you’re Lailah’s daughter, right?” I love that! I am also the granddaughter of Catherine and James Haynes who migrated from Savannah, Georgia, to New York City with my Grandaunt Essie Haynes in the 1940s as part of the great migration of Black people seeking more liberated living. My family’s love of learning and art inspired me at an early age to enjoy brilliant artists and teachers who would become my lifelong familiars. These eternal mentors and guides include Louis Armstrong, James Baldwin, Stevie Wonder, Lou Rawls, Kahlil Gibran, Wayne Shorter, Toni Morrison, Gwendolyn Brooks, Herbie Hancock, Alice Walker, Daisaku Ikeda, Octavia Butler, Maya Angelou, bell hooks, Billie Holiday, and many others. To bolster and deepen wisdom and joy in our lives, my mother introduced us to Islam first and then to Buddhism. I have been practicing in the Mahayana Nichiren Buddhism tradition with the Soka Gakkai International for over four decades. (Excerpted from the Introduction to Joyfully Just: Black Wisdom and Buddhist Insights for Liberated Living.)
When you were younger, was there a book that you read that inspired you to take action or changed your life? Can you share a story about that?
When I was seven I read Maya Angelou’s I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. I remember my age because in the book, Maya Angelou describes being raped at age seven, and I remember feeling horrified that rape could have happened to someone who was my age. Many people think the title of that book was her own poetic allegory, but she was inspired by a pioneering African American poet, Paul Laurence Dunbar, so much so that she named her book after the theme and main verse of his poem “Sympathy.” In that poem, Dunbar draws a parallel between life as a Black person and the life of a caged bird. Reading that poem and Maya Angelou’s book helped me see that through poetry and creative writing, we can transform painful experiences into art that inspires people to stop harming each other and end injustice.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
Once when I was just starting to lead meditations for large groups, I was near the end of the practice when I said, “Now let’s take our last breath together.” As soon as I heard myself say it, I realized that was not exactly what I meant, so then I said, “Well, it won’t be our last breath–hopefully!” Everybody laughed. That made me realize that leading or participating in meditations does not always have to be so serious. I learned that humor is a part of what we become aware of when we meditate.
Can you describe how you aim to make a significant social impact with your book?
I aim to help people see that we can suffer without being insufferable to ourselves or other people. I want people to see how much wisdom is in Black music and Black art and Black protest, and learn how to connect with that wisdom in ways that do not involve cultural appropriation. I want people to see that there is joy in making our lives, our thoughts, our words, and our deeds more just, more kind and compassionate. In the book, I offer practices to show how to do all that in very straightforward, practical ways.
Can you share with us the most interesting story that you shared in your book?
That’s a tough one. I use a lot of personal stories as well as stories from my therapy practice. There is one story where I share about my mother playing Stevie Wonder’s song “AS” for me and how she impressed upon me through that song that her life force, her love for me, would be with me always.
What was the “aha moment” or series of events that made you decide to bring your message to the greater world? Can you share a story about that?
Well, I have been writing this book for over five years, but I would have to say that I reached a tipping point as an activist and as a Buddhist where I realized that injustice might not end in my lifetime, and that the point of it all is not to be attached to whether or not we get to see the injustice end in our lifetime. The point is to fulfill our karmic responsibility, our human responsibility to do absolutely everything we can, until the last moments of our lives, to create peace and justice. And I realized from my practice of Buddhism and from all the joy that Black people create through our creativity and activism, that creating peace and justice is joyful.
Without sharing specific names, can you tell us a story about a particular individual who was impacted or helped by your cause?
I have many stories like that. Having been a therapist and someone who trains mental health therapists for decades, I have had the honor of being with people in the most painful moments of their lives. In doing bereavement therapy, I have often had clients tell me that they couldn’t believe that they could feel so much possibility in their lives and be in so much emotional pain. They said they learned from me that their pain is a doorway, that grief is love with nowhere to go, and that they could direct that love in positive ways now that the beloved has passed on. I have had former students who are therapists themselves now write to me and tell me about bringing someone back from the brink of suicide and having other major breakthroughs with clients. As someone who has had the privilege of training generations of healers over the last 20 years, many of them Black and Latinx, I feel great hope about that legacy of healing.
Are there three things the community/society/politicians can do to help you address the root of the problem you are trying to solve?
1. As best we can, it is useful to try to let go of concerns about fleeting things like money or fame and do what is right–what will protect life rather than harm it, because that will be a legacy your descendants can be proud of.
2. In my work I talk about pausing, about taking a beat to let wisdom arise before we act.
3. Listen to marginalized people and follow their leadership. Privilege blinds us and we cannot lead if we do not listen to those who experience the most harm.
How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
Leadership means living an exemplary life, a kind, wise and compassionate life. We are all leaders, in charge of our own lives and we all influence the lives of others. The woman at the checkout counter who cheerily greets everyone is leading, making the environment warm and welcoming. We can make sure we speak to ourselves and others, treat ourselves and all others well, and that is how we lead the world towards peace and justice.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why?
- Get to know your body, how it works and what its strengths and challenges are, what it can do easily and what it has a hard time with. I often wished that physical education in elementary and secondary school focused more on getting familiar with the body, learning which muscles and ligaments do what, before we focus on performance. Stretch your body often and have a gentle approach to exercise. Even if you are trying to strengthen or make your body more healthy, be sure to say positive things to yourself that reflect your love for your body the way it is. I know I put undue stress on my body trying to work out hard as opposed to having a gentle and loving approach to care for the body. That took me years to learn.
- Don’t stay in toxic work environments, no matter how much you love the work. For example, if you are under-appreciated at work, even if you know what you are doing is making a positive impact, it is important to take note of whether or not the devaluation is taking a toll on your mental or physical health and make a change before damage to your well-being occurs.
- Don’t hold on to people who are not holding on to you. Let go and allow folks to see the value of being in a relationship with you from afar. Sometimes having a bit of space helps people appreciate one another.
- Pain is inevitable so it is important to learn to get comfortable with discomfort as well as grief. For example, grief is uncomfortable and painful but the longer we live, the more we lose. We lose loved ones, our health may decline and we witness loss in the world. We can develop a friendly relationship with pain. So instead of being angry about pain or suffering or being sad that we have it, we can see that it makes us part of the process of living, that we share pain with every other living thing. If we see pain this way we can develop and maintain a sublime joy based on wisdom, and that joy can ride the waves of grief and helps us maintain equanimity and inner peace amidst life’s difficulties.
- Nothing is permanent, not even pain or difficulty, so if we can try not to feel defeated by difficulty and greet it in good cheer, that helps us to enjoy right now to the fullest, no matter what is happening. Worry often keeps us from being in good cheer. For example, some of us who work primarily during the weekdays may spend the weekend–especially Sunday–worrying about what Monday or the week ahead at work will be like, but worrying takes away the fun and peace of the present moment. So when we find ourselves worrying, we can investigate the worry to see if there is anything we can do to make whatever we worried about go more smoothly and if so, do that thing. If there is nothing we can do to make what is ahead go more smoothly, doing a meditative practice where you envision the day or week ahead going well can help you release the worry and be present in the now.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
My mother, Lailah Majied, said, “The greatest impediment to happiness is lack of courage.” This quote from her has emboldened me to go after big dreams and try to make this world a better place for everyone. It reminds me of how much we can do and how happy we can be if we push past our fears and just try our very best to do good in the world.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
Stevie Wonder! I talk about him all throughout my book because he used his music to convey deep wisdom and to advocate for justice. I remember being a teenager and going to Washington DC to the march he organized to make Dr. King’s birthday become a legally recognized national holiday. He is my hero.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Please visit KamilahMajied.com and also let’s connect on Instagram and Facebook!
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
Social Impact Authors: How & Why Author Dr Kamilah Majied Is Helping To Change Our World was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.