Social Impact Authors: How & Why Authors Holly Marie and Carla Cross Are Helping To Change Our World
EVERYONE has a story and theirs, though possibly not as high on the stress scale as yours, it’s important to them and it affects them. Be kind.
As part of my series about “authors who are making an important social impact”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Holly Gavitt and Carla Cross
Britney and her mother, Holly, started this book years ago in hopes of helping others that are having to navigate the medically complex life that Britney lived for 20 years and, as Britney came to terms with the fact that her life was going to be cut short, she asked her mother to finish it. Carla, a trusted friend of Britney’s made a promise to Britney that she would “take care of her mother” and in keeping that promise, pushed Holly to complete the book. This book will be a help to others and, even beyond that, it will inspire you to go out and LIVE and fill your dash just as Britney did.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I was raised in what would loosely be considered a cult. We had strict rules the most adhered to being that — a woman should be silent in the church, obey her husband and submit to his will while trusting him and supporting him no matter her beliefs. In comparison to some of the other girls, I was raised pretty independent but not by the outside world’s standards. Still, I knew that I desperately wanted my daughter to be raised differently and I did my best to make sure that she was equipped to take on this world and all of its challenges. And, she did. She took on every challenge thrown at her and still constantly expanded her experiences and knowledge while leaving a profound impact on those she came in contact with.
When you were younger, was there a book that you read that inspired you to take action or changed your life? Can you share a story about that?
Yes! While some of us were very much restricted in what we were allowed to read, going to the library was a frequent occasion in our household. I remember the day I discovered biographies. I had secretly been listening to every Reba McEntire song I possibly could and I saw her book at the library. I checked it out and read the entire thing through the night. Then, I read it again. I remember thinking that if a small-town girl could do all that she accomplished then maybe I could too. Maybe if I just pushed hard, got out of my comfort zone, used my limited outside resources and kept dreaming- maybe I could leave my mark. Not like Reba, of course, but I knew I wanted to break free of the religion and its constraints. A quick side story: Brit loved Reba possibly even more that I did. She watched every episode of her tv show, multiple times, while she underwent treatment and other medical tests. She was an early teen when she went to a slumber party. The other girls were going on and on about Carrie Underwood and Miranda Lambert so Brit texted me and let me know that she had “set them straight on who the REAL QUEEN OF COUNTRY was”. Britney wanted to use her Make A Wish to meet Reba but, because we were still immersed in that religion, it wasn’t allowed. Still, she was raised to know who the REAL QUEEN was and I can promise you that very few others that graced the halls of that church knew who Reba was.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
When Britney was born, I knew that I wanted to do my best to raise her outside the confines of that religion even though we were still part of it. I remember thinking that I was going to try my hardest to help her become independent and secure in who she was. Brit wasn’t earthside for a full two hours before I realized that I would have my hands full and not have to teach her any of that. She had it down when she drew her first breath and, she had perfected those qualities when she drew her very last breath.
Can you describe how you aim to make a significant social impact with your book?
Britney and I always wanted this book to help others. To help them realize, as they sat in those sterile hospital rooms, that they weren’t alone and that even though they may have to fight for their lives or adhere to some physical restrictions, it didn’t have to become their identity. They could truly LIVE between the bad times.
Can you share with us the most interesting story that you shared in your book?
Oh my! There are many, many interesting stories in the book but I think the best part of the book, for other parents raising special needs kids, is reading Britney’s college acceptance letter. It’s written by her and I never saw it until she had passed away. It was read at her funeral and I think it was one of the highlights for everyone there. It is printed in the prologue of her book.
What was the “aha moment” or series of events that made you decide to bring your message to the greater world? Can you share a story about that?
Well, I had already promised Britney I would finish her book but, I wasn’t looking forward to the attention it would bring. It’s different when you can imagine sitting in the shadows watching your daughter shine and help others. Now, I was going to have to get out there and do it. But, I was talking to a mom one day that has a special needs child and has spent more of their fair share of time in the medical world. She, got emotional a asked, “do you think my child understands that I have to do this to them”. When you are holding your child down for pokes and pricks or taking them to pre-op again and again, there is a HUGE burden of guilt on your shoulders. Special needs or typical, you feel like you are betraying their trust and when they don’t have the cognitive skills a typical child would have, you wonder if they really understand that you hate this for them but you have to do it. The very last thing Brit said to me was…………Thank You Momma. Hence the title of the book and maybe some hope for a parent that is questioning of they understand or not.
Without sharing specific names, can you tell us a story about a particular individual who was impacted or helped by your cause?
So, I AM going to use a name because she happens to be the co-author of this book. First of all, Britney had so, so many that directly and profoundly impacted her life and I would struggle to just pick one so, read the book and get to know them. For now, I need to say Carla. She stepped in during the later months of Britney’s life. Brit didn’t warm up to many people but she instantly bonded with Carla. For all of Brit’s twenty years, we had been side by side watching over each other. When Brit went on hospice, Carla never left our side and, when Brit was clearly struggling and wouldn’t let go, all it took was Carla saying, “I’m going to take care of your momma” and Brit relaxed, got very peaceful and was gone a short time later. Carla not only has given me security and a home since the night Brit passed, she has kept her promise and hasn’t given up yet!
Are there three things the community/society/politicians can do to help you address the root of the problem you are trying to solve?
I can’t really say that I am trying to solve a problem because the book is ultimately about Britney and she was never, ever a problem. I guess I can say that, through the years the battle against insurance companies and money hungry corporations where one of my biggest stressors. No parent should have to watch their child suffer all because they can’t raise the unimaginable funds for treatment. Almost as importantly, no parent should have to worry about keeping a roof over their children’s heads or food on the table because one parent can’t work being that they are a full-time caregiver.
How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
To me, leadership should not be rules carried out by harsh punishment. I do believe there are instances where someone does have to take the leadership role to keep order. However, to me, the best leadership is witnessed, not heard. Leaders should live by example always working toward the greater good of those coming behind them never barking from their platform.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why? Please share a story or example for each.
- No one is a perfect parent. It’s our duty to do better than the generation before us and raise our children to do better than we did.
- Working diligently and quietly goes much farther that hollering and stomping around or flaunting your feathers.
- EVERYONE has a story and theirs, though possibly not as high on the stress scale as yours, it’s important to them and it affects them. Be kind.
- The most highly acclaimed surgeon is no more valued that the cleaning staff. Treat them all equally and they will treat you the same. If you don’t feed the pride, they will come down to your level. If you feed someone’s soul, they will treat you like royalty. 5. Get to know God. No matter what religion you are a part of or what religion tainted you as a child, get to know God. Get to know Him as a father, as a protector, as a cheerleader, as someone rooting for you and finding joy in your successes. We all have that one “defining day” and on that day, He may be your only comfort and only hope. He most definitely will be the only one that’s with you when you are at your lowest and the world is noisily moving past. I hope and pray that He is the One that welcomes you home one day. I know He welcomed Brit and will one day stand beside her and welcome me home.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
I don’t know that this is a life lesson, per say, but when I came to live in this household, one thing that is said often is, “I love you from the dirt to Jesus”. To me that means, I love you in your darkest times, I WILL love you in eternity but, I’ll also love you wherever you are in between.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
So, so many but, in honor of my daughter, I’d love to sit and chat with Reba. I don’t need an autograph or pictures. I’d just like to tell her all of the ways she touched Brit’s life without even knowing it.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
I still update Britney’s page on Facebook- The Blessing of Britney and I recently opening a TikTok- Well, Actually and then there is the website to Brit’s book- www.wellactuallythankyoumomma.com
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work! Thank you so very much for giving me this opportunity.
Social Impact Authors: How & Why Author Holly Marie and Carla Cross Is Helping To Change Our World was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.