Write the Words You Are Afraid to Write- The more you run from what your heart is telling you to write the harder it will be! Do it SCARED! I wanted to write a light-hearted comical read and ran from my exploration of faith. The truth is I would have saved so much time if I just addressed my fears head-on.
As part of my series about “authors who are making an important social impact”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Julie Catania-Shady.
Julie Catania-Shady Julie is the author of the powerful book, Conversations With Colton: A Story of Fear, Faith, and Doubt. After suffering a miscarriage and a cancer diagnosis, finding out she was pregnant was an incredible miracle. But what happened next put herfaith to the test, more so than the previous trials. How do you keep having faith when you are caught in a “storm?”
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
Of course! I had an ideal childhood. My parents were caring, kind, and focused on my brother and me and there was never any doubt how much they loved us. I grew up in the suburbs of Maryland right outside of Washington, DC. I had a HUGE extended Italian family. We were always getting together for holidays and birthdays. I miss those days. The days were full of adventure, and I was carefree. It’s funny, I remember being in such a hurry to grow up, but the truth is: those were the days!
I was raised in the church. We were in church every Sunday morning and, evening, and Wednesday night! Two of my grandfathers were ministers. I’m so glad I was raised this way. My parents helped plant the seeds of faith that ultimately carried me through adulthood.
I have always had a knack for storytelling so it’s not surprising to my family that this is the path my life took!
When you were younger, was there a book that you read that inspired you to take action or changed your life? Can you share a story about that?
I’m embarrassed to say that as a child, I didn’t LOVE books. I remember my parents reading bedtime stories to me, but outside of that I only read when required to in school. It wasn’t until middle school that I “met Nancy” and the gang. My favorite series growing up was Nancy Drew. I wish I had fond childhood memories of enjoying books before middle school, but the truth is I don’t. For those who don’t know, Nancy Drew is a fictional teenage amateur detective in an extended series of mystery books written by Carolyn Keene. Nancy Drew’s intelligence, courage, and independence made her a popular role model for many generations of young readers. I may have been her #1 fan. I was obsessed with her investigative skills and loved the idea of solving mysteries. In hindsight, Nancy Drew Influenced me in more ways than I realized at the time.
I too was a federal investigator and worked for a hit crime TV show. I have since “retired” from those jobs, but I am still obsessed with Crime TV, 48 Hours and all the mystery shows.
This is why books are so magical. They have the power to change lives, influence careers, give hope, and provide calm when life gets crazy and throws us curveballs.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
I started writing this book seven years ago. I didn’t write it conventionally, like you may be thinking. Instead, I started posting on Facebook about my interactions with my son using the hashtag #conversationswithcolton. Get it? Conversations with Colton! It was crazy. I went back and looked at my very first conversation with Colton, and it occurred when he was just two months old. It was a video of him babbling into the camera, using his hands while he talked. I made a joke and threw up the caption: “Conversations with Colton, look at my Italian Boy already talking with his hands.” I’m 100 percent Italian, and it’s true, we do talk with our hands. Colton is only 50 percent Italian, but it still counts.
I had no recollection of that post until researching for this book. Somehow, my conversations with Colton became regular Facebook posts. The older he got, the more in-depth our conversations grew. The older he grew, the more interesting our conversations got! The more interesting our conversations got, the more I started to pray for patience.
I digress. When I started writing this book, compiling our conversations wasn’t hard, but it was on my mind all the time! I couldn’t turn it off in my brain, so much so that I would dream of transitions while I slept and play possible segue scenarios in my mind while I went about my day.
One day I was out running errands and of course, the book was on my mind! I stopped to get gas and a snack and was “arguing” with myself in my head. The thing is I set out to write a fun comedic account of conversations with a miracle baby and what I was writing was an exploration of faith with conversations weaved in AND this was not what I originally intended. I was having a hard time letting my original expectations go.
I had grabbed my snack and needed to take the gas pump out of my car and go on about my day. I walked out of the gas station with authority, right up to a white SUV, took the gas nozzle out of the car, opened the driver’s side door to get in, and let out the loudest scream. You see it wasn’t my car, It looked like my car but the man sitting in the driver’s seat wasn’t thrilled. I explained my mistake, he laughed, and I found my car and left, embarrassed beyond belief!
What this taught me was to hold myself accountable for thinking and writing my book when it was designated writing time, in my office, at my desk. I clearly couldn’t control my dreams, but I could control my thoughts while I was awake. I was becoming obsessed, and I needed to gain some control. This approach worked for the most part once I came to terms with accepting that Conversations with Colton was going to be the book I hadn’t originally planned to write.
Can you describe how you aim to make a significant social impact with your book?
I write to give hope and show people that they are not alone. Hope provides solace from fear. It gives courage to keep going. It increases our mood and our ability to encourage others. Life is hard! Everyone has challenges but at the end of the day, waking up each morning and taking the first step is what gets us through. Hope for the future is so needed especially in today’s world. Now I’m not saying every day will be amazing, Conversations with Colton is full of hard days, but a quote from my book that I cherish is: “Be on the lookout and try not to miss them, the tiny miracles, because they are what will give you hope for the future.” I believe that with all my heart. We must be intentional to seek out the good every day so that our sense of purpose isn’t decayed by the bad days.
Can you share with us the most interesting story that you shared in your book?
Conversations With Colton is a compilation of hilarious conversations with my son through his first 7 years of life. Colton is a miracle. When I was pregnant with him doctors said he wouldn’t be born alive, but he was and he’s thriving.
Here is a glimpse into one of our “interesting” conversations:
Backstory: We were at Target, and I was praising my child for being so patient while standing in the longest line ever!
Colton yelled, “Mom, I have to poop so bad. Mama, I can’t hold it anymore!”
Me- “Um, Mama can’t take this merchandise to the bathroom with us! Just a few more minutes!”
Colton-“It’s coming!” Here I am, teaching a lesson on patience, and we got a lesson on kindness! All the customers in front of us let us jump to the head of the line. It was very kind. So, we paid and rushed off toward the bathroom. As I started my next sermon on kindness…
Colton- “Mom let’s just hurry out the front door. I don’t have to go. I wasn’t feeling patient enough to hear you lecture me about being patient.”
Do you ever have those days where you just feel like you are killing it as a parent?
That day was NOT one of them for me. This conversation sums up Colton perfectly! Always on his toes, and always helping me question my sanity. He’s hilarious and NOT a day goes by that I’m NOT thankful I had to get through the storm, to have these conversations with him.
What was the “aha moment” or series of events that made you decide to bring your message to the greater world? Can you share a story about that?
When my son, Colton was about two, he locked his father out of the house, and it was hilarious as I told the story on Facebook. I was still inside with him and took a photo of him standing on a stool after locking his daddy out with a huge grin of accomplishment on his face. The comments from my social media following were full of, “Julie, you need to write a book about Colton.” I heard this over and over and over, over the next 5 years, and I never took the comments seriously. I know my child is special, but I never imagined others would be interested in our conversations.
When we celebrated Colton’s seventh birthday, I finally told the full story surrounding his miracle birth to my friends. The eight months leading up to his birth were hard for me mentally and physically. I didn’t post about our issues on social media. But when I decided to post his full birth story, it was almost like a bolt of lightning hit me. I needed to share his story. So, I wrote this book!
I have no expectations of what will ever become of conversations with Colton, and you know what? That is okay. I believe that just by writing our story, I am following the plan for my life. I’ve run from this book for years, but I’ve stopped running. And now I feel at peace.
Without sharing specific names, can you tell us a story about a particular individual who was impacted or helped by your cause?
Shortly after my book was published, I received an email from an acquaintance. Her mother had just passed away and she was amid a difficult pregnancy. Here is a snippet of what she said:
“I read Conversations with Colton in 3 days last week, for me record speed. Your book spoke to me. I have struggled to have faith and hope. My Mom prayed so much for me to have a baby after my father passed away. My Mom had faith and was so happy on Easter in 2023 when I told her I was pregnant. She had faith and so wanted to hold the baby, but sadly a stroke and cancer caused her to pass away in May. My mom also spoke of the Philippines. Thank you for sharing your story, it encouraged me to keep having faith and hope through this storm.”
I must admit I cried when I read her message. This is why I wrote Conversations with Colton. I always said if just ONE life was touched and encouraged by Colton’s story then all the heartache, we went through would be worth it.
Are there three things the community/society/politicians can do to help you address the root of the problem you are trying to solve?
Conversations with Colton: A Story of Fear, Faith, And Doubt is an exploration of faith. For example: how do you keep having faith when caught in a storm? Faith is the result of our current belief system and is shaped by our experiences and upbringing. For example: faith is putting your trust in God for healing, but hope allows you to believe that healing is even a possibility. When you think about it this way: without hope there can be no faith. So, what can we do as a society to bring hope into our community:
Step out of your comfort zone and volunteer! Volunteering creates a social connection. Volunteering changes the way you view the world. Volunteering will not only bring joy to you but also to those you help. Volunteering will give hope to those in need that this world is a good place.
Promote nurturing, supportive relationships by acknowledging and addressing mental health needs. Having hope promotes overall mental health and may help heal certain conditions.
Random acts of kindness are so needed. Bringing a smile to a stranger’s face gives hope to both the giver and receiver.
Hope can inspire people to persevere through difficult times, pursue their dreams and goals, and have the strength and resilience to overcome. Having a hope-filled community starts with YOU!
How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
A leader is someone who inspires others. A leader must be willing to step out of their comfort zone, be bold, make tough decisions, and take responsibility for the outcomes of those decisions. A leader gives hope that a desired outcome will be achieved.
I read an interview a while back with former American Express CEO, Ken Chenault and he said: “The role of the leader is to define reality and give hope.” I love this so much! Being a leader requires a level of transparency yet requires buy-in from the team that their leader will make the right decisions. This buy-in will yield empowered, happy employees who are hopeful for the future.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why? Please share a story or example for each.
- Making Writing a Daily Habit- Writing is HARD work! You will not write your best every day. There will be days when you just sit there and the words don’t flow, but that’s ok! You are setting the stage and the more consistent you are, the easier it will be to find the right words. I used to put off writing until my deadline was approaching and all that did was stress me out! Now that I time block and know I have scheduled writing time I am so much more relaxed.
- Read ALL The Books- The best way to develop your writing style is to read everything you can get your hands on.
- Keep A Journal- You never know when inspiration will strike! I sleep with a pad and pen on my nightstand. When I was writing Conversations with Colton, I would dream about the sequence between chapters or how the book would flow. You never know, you may dream up a best-seller using this technique.
- Remember Why You Love Writing- You didn’t just wake up one day and decide to write! You have a passion for it! Maybe: writing gives a creative outlet, it gives you freedom, allows adventures, or it’s therapeutic. If you find yourself losing sight of why you started in the first place. Take some time off! Don’t get burned out. Remember taking a break isn’t quitting.
- Write the Words You Are Afraid to Write- The more you run from what your heart is telling you to write the harder it will be! Do it SCARED! I wanted to write a light-hearted comical read and ran from my exploration of faith. The truth is I would have saved so much time if I just addressed my fears head-on.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
― Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore
I dreamed of becoming a mommy one day. I dreamed of the perfect life, but after suffering a miscarriage and a cancer diagnosis, finding out I was pregnant was an incredible miracle. But what happened next: a HARD and TRAUMATIC pregnancy with my son, put my faith to the test more so than the previous trials. Like Murakami said: I came through the storm, learned so many lessons and I am forever grateful to be changed because of it.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
I am a rule follower so I will answer this question like it was asked and not divert to sitting down for a big old Italian lunch with my grandmother one last time.
If I could have lunch with one person, I would choose Oprah because she is an empowering women’s role model, does amazing charitable work, and has a fun personality. It would be great to pick her brain because I would love for some of those characteristics to rub off on me!
How can our readers further follow your work online?
We would love to have you follow along on our journey as well as keep up to date on Colton’s shenanigans at:
https://conversationswithcolton.com
I am also on Instagram with the handle @juliesbooknook or Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/julie.shady1 and books are online anywhere books are sold.
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
Social Impact Authors: How & Why Author Julie Catania-Shady Is Helping To Change Our World was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.