In order to write a story about your family that occurred a long time ago, to resonate with people today you will have to be the protagonist detective. You will have to bear your soul.
As part of my series about “authors who are making an important social impact”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Karen Kirsten.
Karen Kirsten (Boston, MA) is a writer and Holocaust educator who speaks around the world on the topic of reconciliation. Her new book, Irena’s Gift: An Epic World War II Memoir of Sisters, Secrets and Survival, chronicles her decade’s long quest to uncover her family’s war-torn history and reconcile the lies told to protect two generations of innocent children. Karen’s 2016 essay “Searching for the Nazi Who Saved My Mother’s Life” was selected by Narratively as one of their Best Ever stories and nominated for The Best American Essays. Karen’s writing has also appeared in Salon, The Week, The Jerusalem Post, Więź in Poland, Boston’s NPR, The Age (Melbourne), WA Today, The Brisbane Times, and The Sydney Morning Herald. Learn more at KarenKirsten.com.
Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I grew up outside Melbourne, in Australia, where my mother had arrived with her parents as refugees in 1948. I was a curious child, always asking questions. I knew my grandparents were Polish Jews, and that they were atheist, but I suspected they and their friends were hiding aspects of their past. My grandmother told me she tattooed her phone number on her arm, so she’d never forget it. Then, when I was thirteen, I accidentally discovered that the grandmother I adored was actually my mother’s aunt; that when my mother was 11 months old her biological mother, Irena, had been killed by the Gestapo in occupied Poland.
When you were younger, was there a book that you read that inspired you to take action or changed your life? Can you share a story about that?
Although my Jewish mother survived the Holocaust, she raised me Christian and taught me that a woman’s role was to support her husband. I loved historical fiction that transported me to foreign lands and exposed me to past traditions. In Jane Austen’s Pride And Prejudice, I cheered the main character Elizabeth for how she challenged stereotypes on men’s rights and rules (and my mother’s endorsement of them). Most important, the role-models of strong, courageous women Jane Austen’s books and others gave me permission to break rules in my own family, bolstering my desire to chart my own path, and to travel and explore different cultures.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
As a marketing executive for fast-moving start-ups, I believed I could research, learn how to write and finish this book in six months. A friend who has published two nonfiction books laughed, then told me it would take me ten years! Twelve years out from my first trip to Poland, I still can’t believe my naivety. I learned that research may provide the backbone for a book, (primary interviews, digging in archives, working with historians, finding photographs, diaries and film footage etc. to inform your story), but to write a page turner, you must study gripping narratives — fiction and nonfiction — learn the craft by taking classes, write dozens of drafts, and above all, have a supportive writing community.
Can you describe how you aim to make a significant social impact with your book?
I want people to read about what my family endured to see that Auschwitz wasn’t built overnight. It started with dehumanizing language and dividing people into ‘us’ versus ‘them.’ It’s like termites slowly eating away at a house. You don’t see any visible damage, then years later the house can collapse. I wanted to show in Irena’s Gift what happens when we ignore the signs; the rise of authoritarian leaders polarizing populations. But most of all, I want people to see the power of empathy. I wouldn’t be alive to write Irena’s Gift if a few people hadn’t shown kindness toward my mother instead of indifference or hate.
Can you share with us the most interesting story that you shared in your book?
I stumbled on a story online about a house where Jewish women were hidden, then killed. It was written by the owner’s granddaughter. Her grandmother had raised her in that very house. I recognized a name and realized this is where my mother was hidden and where her mother, Irena was killed. I connected with Iwona. Later, I took my mother back to the house. Iwona and I developed a sisterly bond that will never be broken.
What was the “aha moment” or series of events that made you decide to bring your message to the greater world? Can you share a story about that?
My grandmother had never talked about Auschwitz until the movie Schindler’s List. She asked me to take her. A week later she asked me to take her out for dinner. She told me how Dr. Mengele — the Angel of Death the prisoners called him — would line her and the women up on the assembly Platz in Auschwitz for hours, how he inspected her with his white gloves, how he’d point at women next to her with his whip and pull them out of the line. Years later, she let me interview her. On our last day, she told me that she worried what happened to her would happen again. That’s when I promised her that I would write her story.
Without sharing specific names, can you tell us a story about a particular individual who was impacted or helped by your cause?
As an educator, I share my family’s story in schools. Talking to children of refugees moves me most. “I felt seen for once about being a child of a survivor,” one student wrote after she experienced a “breakthrough,” as she described it — always wondering how to understand her parent’s traumas. She realized it was okay to be curious about her parent’s experiences, to be proud of their resilience and of her immigrant heritage.
Are there three things the community/society/politicians can do to help you address the root of the problem you are trying to solve?
- Connect with people outside of your bubble and learn about them. Be kind.
- Challenge anti-Jewish hate when you see it and any form of racism.
- Avoid binary, either/or views. Embrace the grey. Human behavior and history is complicated and often requires us to hold multiple truths simultaneously.
How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
A good leader is humble, kind, curious, one who seeks and respects opposing opinions while building community.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why?
- Writing a book is one of the hardest, but most rewarding thing you will ever do.
- In order to write a story about your family that occurred a long time ago, to resonate with people today you will have to be the protagonist detective. You will have to bear your soul.
- We need to be curious about our families sooner. Listen to older relatives before it’s too late.
- You won’t know the heart of the story until you’ve written at least 12 drafts. For me, the aha moment evolved in draft 17.
- When you’re writing about traumas of people you love, right from the beginning you need to make time to take care of yourself.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look for in the face…You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Eleanor Roosevelt.
There were so many emotional and physical barriers documenting and writing this story, that at times I wanted to give up. While looking for information on a notorious SS officer who saved my mother’s life at the Bundesarchiv in Berlin, I texted my husband while reviewing Nazi files listing arrests and horrific killings. I told him I didn’t think I could keep going.
He texted back: “This is important. In some way it will make a difference, even if you don’t know what it is yet.”
Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. :-
Jacinda Ardern, former Prime Minister of New Zealand. She led from crisis to crisis — including an attack on two mosques that killed 51 people — with empathy, curiosity, bravery and respect for her constituents. Thanks for the opportunity to speak with you and share my family’s story.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
My website is www.karenkirsten.com
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
Thanks for the opportunity to speak with you and share my family’s story.
Social Impact Authors: How & Why Author Karen Kirsten Is Helping To Change Our World was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.