“It’s ok to acknowledge that you previously came from a less-informed place.” I don’t know the author, but I feel this quote points out the importance of giving oneself grace and reminds us that we continue to evolve throughout our lifetimes.
As part of my series about “authors who are making an important social impact”, I had the pleasure of interviewing Shane Hodges.
With over a decade’s worth of experience in the counseling profession, Shane Hodges specializes in individual, family and couples therapy. Throughout his clinical career, Shane has given presentations across Colorado on a variety of topics, including Mental Health Among the LGBTQIA+ Community, Neurodivergence: How It Can Show up in the Workplace & What Managers/Companies Can Do to Address It and The Emotional & Mental Health Effects of COVID-19.
Shane lives in Denver with his husband DeMarcio Slaughter and is the owner of his private practice, SPH Counseling, LLC.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive into the main focus of our interview, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your childhood backstory?
I was born into a lower middle-class family and grew up in a town of seventy people in rural Nebraska in the 1980s. I had a large extended family; my mother was one of eleven, father was one of four, and there were twenty-eight cousins between the two sides. From Kindergarten through 8th grade, I attended a “country school” with forty or fewer students at any one time. I knew I was gay when I was ten years old, but I was afraid of coming out at that time. That was probably the first thing to kick off my own inauthenticity. Generally speaking, I wanted so badly to fit in; but I rarely felt like I did…at least not the real me! So, I created a version of myself that I thought was acceptable to others.
When you were younger, was there a book that you read that inspired you to take action or changed your life? Can you share a story about that?
As a young child, I really liked Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson. I loved that he could create whatever he wanted. In high school, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee became my favorite book. It shows the importance of diversity, compassion and open-mindedness. And about ten years ago, You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero changed my life. It was around that time that I dug deeper into my own journey with authenticity and realized I was the only one who could give myself permission to be authentic.
It has been said that our mistakes can be our greatest teachers. Can you share a story about the funniest mistake you made when you were first starting? Can you tell us what lesson you learned from that?
First, I’d like to applaud the way this question is presented. I completely agree with the first statement. In my professional capacity, I often reframe clients’ comments about “failure” by asking if perhaps, instead, it was a “learning experience.”
That said, I’ve experienced many mistakes in my life. I’m not sure it qualifies as funny, but when starting the book, I’d often allow my A.D.D. brain to get caught up on things that were several steps ahead of where I needed to be putting my energy at that time. This would distract or overwhelm me to the point where I would shut down and make no progress.
Can you describe how you aim to make a significant social impact with your book?
Ultimately, my goal is to show people it’s ok to be themselves. All too often, we attempt to change, minimize, or hide our authentic self to “fit in” or to avoid judgement. But I can say with utmost certainty, no matter what version of yourself you put out there, someone won’t like it. So, why waste all that time and energy on being anything other than your most authentic self? If my experience has taught me anything, it’s that all that effort is not worth it; and furthermore, being your authentic self is supremely liberating!
Can you share with us the most interesting story that you shared in your book?
I’d have to say, the most interesting stories and information I shared were at the end of Chapter 9: Work It — All About Your Career. Not only did I share a list of every job I’ve ever had, which is quite a diverse list, I also shared how my own self-talk led to various choices I made regarding my career. I even included a list of very famous people and the ages at which they started doing what they are famous for.
What was the “aha moment” or series of events that made you decide to bring your message to the greater world? Can you share a story about that?
Before I started the book, I’d been considering it for several years. But I wasn’t sure what type of book I wanted it to be. I’d considered an autobiography but wasn’t ready for that. I wanted to incorporate my professional experience in mental health, but the genre of self-help had left a bad taste in my mouth. And I wanted there to be a heavy focus on authenticity. In the end, I realized my book could have aspects of all those things.
Without sharing specific names, can you tell us a story about a particular individual who was impacted or helped by your cause?
Actually, I just recently received a message from a client who thanked me for the work we have done together. Authenticity and self-discovery have been a big part of their journey. Since we started working together, they have removed themself from a toxic living environment, came out as non-binary, are in a healthy long-term relationship, are doing well in school, and their overall mental health has significantly improved.
Are there three things the community/society/politicians can do to help you address the root of the problem you are trying to solve?
A lot of strong feelings and thoughts come up for me based on the specific groups mentioned in this question. Here are a few:
Politicians: I believe too many of them allow personal beliefs/preferences (religion, for example) to guide their choices. Therefore, one thing I’d like to see is greater separation of church and state.
Society: Travel more and educate yourself on other cultures. The world is a melting pot and everyone is unique. Celebrate that!
Community: Assumptions and stereotypes can be devastating. Be willing to COMMUNICATE with others! ESPECIALLY those who are different than you.
How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
I believe leadership involves the desire for positive change and the willingness to be involved in that process.
What are your “5 things I wish someone told me when I first started” and why?
- If someone can’t/won’t accept you for you, that’s their problem, not yours!
- It’s not only “ok” to question things…it’s necessary!
- Almost nothing is black and white!
- It’s ok to ask for and/or accept support!
- Believe in, trust and love yourself!
As for why, I will simply say, because I think it took me way too long to understand, accept and/or acknowledge these things on my own.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
“It’s ok to acknowledge that you previously came from a less-informed place.” I don’t know the author, but I feel this quote points out the importance of giving oneself grace and reminds us that we continue to evolve throughout our lifetimes.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
Pink! I think she is an amazing artist, mother and advocate. She is hilarious, no-nonsense and bold. She doesn’t allow others to force her into any box she doesn’t fit into. To me, she is the perfect example of true authenticity!
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Instagram: @denverguy76
Twitter: @DenverGuy76
Website:
www.sphproductions.com
LinkedIn: Shane Hodges, LPC
TikTok: @denverauthor76
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
Social Impact Authors: How & Why Author Shane Hodges Is Helping To Change Our World was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.