Thriving As An Introvert: Erwin Wils On How Introverts Can Thrive & Succeed In A Society That Seems To Favor Extroverts
Let go of the label. Introversion has a lot of associations, like the myths we talked about. Some people tend to accept those labels and start living by it. Labels place blinders around the expectation of the label. You start looking for proof that a label is true, and every bit of proof strengthens that label until it becomes reality. That’s why I say, let go of the label. It may explain certain things, but you are much more than the label “introvert.” By the way, this is how I look at all labels.
In a world that often rewards outspokenness and social networking, introverts can sometimes feel sidelined or overlooked. The workplace, educational institutions, and even social settings can often seem engineered to suit the strengths of extroverts, leaving introverts searching for a space to flourish.
However, introversion comes with its own set of unique strengths — deep thinking, the ability to focus, empathy, and keen observational skills — that are invaluable but often underestimated. The question then becomes: how can introverts not only survive but also thrive and succeed in environments that seem skewed towards extroversion? In this interview series, we are talking to introverts, business leaders, psychologists, authors, career coaches, organizational leaders, and other experts in the field who can talk about “How Introverts Can Thrive & Succeed In A Society That Seems To Favor Extroverts”. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Erwin Wils.
Erwin Wils, mindset and business strategist at Millionaire Life Strategy and international speaker on stages large and small, empowers introverted entrepreneurs to boost their business and themselves, so they can confidently deliver their added value without feeling like an imposter. Wils programs, mastery, and systems transform his clients into the person who will achieve their dreams, goals, and beyond. As a Master of Science in Electrical Engineering by education and certified professional hypnotherapist, master Soulkey therapist, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and IEMT (Integral Eye Movement Therapy) practitioner by training, Wils brings over 25 years of experience to show his clients how they can use their expertise to make a positive impact in the world and make a good living doing it. Everything comes together in Wils’ signature program “Profitable Passion Program™,” transforming businesses and business owners within 12 months. Wils recently launched “Follow your Passion” podcast where Wils’ clients and other entrepreneurs share their insights in how they follow their passion and create a fulltime living doing it.
Thank you so much for your time! I know that you are a very busy person. Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us your “Origin Story”? Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?
I grew up as a single kid with two loving parents. Of course, I had friends and I loved to play outside, but I could also entertain myself very well. As a teenager I did my best at school, trained a lot for competitive judo (up to 20 hours a week), was embarrassed to approach girls, worried what they would think of me, and I never felt the urge to adjust myself to belong to a group. So you could say that I am an introvert by nature. One of my funniest memories is when my friends started drinking beer, they offered me one as well. I tasted it and didn’t like it and I told them so. They said I would get used to it and I responded, “If I don’t like it, why would I want to get used to it?” I never started drinking.
Can you tell us a bit about what you do professionally, and what brought you to this specific career path?
Sure! I am a leadership coach. I use my training as a hypnotherapist, mindset coach, and business coach to coach introverts on how to take control of their own life to become the leader of their own destiny.
I’ve always had the drive to help people. Throughout my career, my added value was in optimizing processes. In 2014, I realized that I could optimize a process and have all the reports and data to justify the optimization, but if the people using the process didn’t change, the process itself wouldn’t change. So I got interested in human behavior and the reasons people do and do not change, and that kickstarted my entrepreneurial journey to where I am today.
Thank you for all that. Let’s now turn to the main focus of our discussion about Thriving As An Introvert. In order to make sure that we are all on the same page, let’s begin with a simple definition. What does “Introvert” mean to you?
To me, being an introvert means you don’t need others to feel alive, so to speak. To be honest, my definition depends heavily on my definition of an extrovert. An extroverted person is someone that feeds off of the attention of others; that’s very outwards oriented, that’s being very present in a crowd. An introverted person behaves in the opposite manner. We are more thinkers, good at listening, we enjoy time by ourselves, and we don’t mind being alone. In fact, we need it to reenergize.
Can you help articulate a few of the challenges that come with being an introvert?
Big, crowded places can drain the energy of an introvert. It might feel to them that all attention is focused on them. The more they feel like that, the more they think that, the more proof they will find confirming it, which increases the pressure and makes the situation worse.
Also, promoting ourselves doesn’t feel right, which also means that selling can be a real challenge for introverts, especially when we’re selling our own services. To be successful in business, you have to be great at selling. I know, I thought I was bad at selling as well, so I invested heavily in training. Until I changed my mindset around selling. Nowadays I have my own Advanced Sales Masterclass, in which I train my students on how to sell authentically.
Another challenge introverted entrepreneurs face is the need to stand out to be seen; that can be a real challenge. They might feel pressure to act differently (more extroverted), which can lead to imposter syndrome.
I love helping my clients overcome all these challenges, real and imaginary. I use a combination of my toolsets including coaching, training, speaking, hypnotherapy, whatever is best for each client to claim their true self and live, sell, and grow a business authentically.
Oh, a last challenge that I didn’t mention, is that people often have certain presuppositions about introverts, stereotypes like being aloof, snobbish, or antisocial, when in reality they simply have different social needs and preferences. Those presuppositions play an important role in their interactions as an introvert and toward an introvert.
I’m sure that being an introvert also gives you certain advantages. Can you tell us a few advantages that introverts have?
Of course! I can mention a few: Introverts are typically good listeners, which is much appreciated by the other party. They don’t mind if the other party talks and talks.
Many introverts spend time reflecting and can develop deep insights into various subjects. Since our focus is more inward, introverts are very good at focusing and concentrating, which will make us suitable for tasks that need those skills.
Introverts are usually comfortable with being alone and can work independently without needing constant feedback or affirmation from others. This independence can be a significant benefit in both personal and professional contexts.
The relations introverts build are often based on a higher degree of loyalty and understanding. Introverts might not have many relationships, but the ones they have are deep and meaningful .
What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about being an introvert? Can you explain what you mean?
One of the myths I would like to dispel is that introverts are not good at public speaking. That’s nonsense! First of all, public speaking is one of the biggest fears that people have, whether or not you’re an introvert. The ones that love public speaking, like myself, are more than capable to deliver engaging and well-thought-out speeches, because it’s not about them. It’s all about the message they want to bring across.
Another one is the idea that introverts are shy or antisocial. While some might be shy, shyness is not the same as introversion. Shyness is more about social anxiety or discomfort, while introversion is about where one draws their energy from, meaning solitude versus social interaction. Moreover, introverts aren’t antisocial but selectively social, often preferring deep and meaningful conversations to small talk.
Last one I want to mention is that introverts cannot be good leaders. The fact that they are less visible than extroverts doesn’t say anything about their leadership skills. Many introverts are very effective leaders, because often they are great listeners, thoughtful decision-makers, and can lead in a more calm, deliberate, and inclusive manner.
Do you have any role models who are also introverts? What have you learned from them that can help introverts navigate the challenges and benefits of introversion?
Former president Barack Obama is often described as an introvert and I truly admire him for his public speaking skills. He definitely knows how to deliver a message, if I may say so.
Mark Zuckerberg, Warren Buffett and Bill Gates are also known introverts, And, you might say they are all very successful businessmen. What I love about them is that it is not about them, but their actions. How they look at the bigger picture and let their work do the talking. That totally sounds like me.
Here is the primary question of our discussion. Based on your experience and success, what are the “Five Things Introverts Need To Thrive & Succeed In A Society That Seems To Favor Extroverts”? If you can, please share a story or an example for each.
I was expecting this question! I want to start by saying the following 5 points aren’t needs, they are tips that will make life easier. I just don’t like the word “need.”
1. Let go of the label. Introversion has a lot of associations, like the myths we talked about. Some people tend to accept those labels and start living by it. Labels place blinders around the expectation of the label. You start looking for proof that a label is true, and every bit of proof strengthens that label until it becomes reality. That’s why I say, let go of the label. It may explain certain things, but you are much more than the label “introvert.” By the way, this is how I look at all labels.
2. Closely related to this one is the following very simple yet powerful tip: every time you use a negative with regards to your skills, experience, or knowledge, add the word “yet.” I remember when I started my entrepreneurial journey, I saw a lot of successful entrepreneurs and I thought “I can’t be like that.” Until 2017, I met several celebrities like John Travolta, Steve Wozniak, Mark Wahlberg and many more, and realized they are just like you and me, and very successful in their fields. So my, “I can’t be like that,” changed into, “If they can do it, why wouldn’t I be able to do it?” and I started to add the word “yet.” Just this simple addition keeps me open to learning, admiring another person’s skills, and motivates me to grow and keep developing. Start using it! Then DM on LinkedIn. I would love to hear what changed in your life because of it.
3. Another thing I want to advise is to surround yourself with people who elevate you. Look for people that complement you and you can learn from, and vice versa. When they are great at a certain skill, learn from them. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, learn tips or accept assistance. People love to share their knowledge to help others.
4. A fourth tip I would like to share, and thinking about it, this is actually the most important one, stay true and close to yourself! I already shared some (of many) advantages of being an introvert, embrace those. Those advantages separate you from the extroverts, so be proud. Be your authentic self and let your actions do the talking. I truly believe that authenticity is the key to success.
5. My fifth and final tip is to work on your mindset. This one is very closely related to the previous tip and the first tip. The easiest way to work on your mindset is to invest in a coach. I’ve done that myself and that’s what I do for my clients as well. Henry Ford is known for his famous quote, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” I recently read the following quote, “There is no right or wrong; only our way of thinking makes it so.”
When you think about the latter, it actually goes deep. For instance, if you believe the statement, “A society that seems to favor extroverts,” that could be a limiting belief in your mind. I don’t think Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Mark Zuckerberg, or any other successful introverted person cared about it. Even though I’m an introvert by nature, I love networking and speaking in public.
I thought I couldn’t sell, and nowadays I teach others how to sell through my Advanced Sales Masterclass. So having the right mindset is key. Once it clicks in your mindset, you’re unstoppable.
How should an introvert navigate social relationships and networking, activities that are often touted as extroverts’ forte? Do you have any advice for introverts in these areas?
When I started out as an entrepreneur, I put pressure on myself, thinking I “needed” to network, and I didn’t like it. Because I went there to find clients, to be known as a coach, to be visible — in short, I was there for all the wrong reasons. I started to like networking events when I changed my mindset.
I reframed networking for myself. Networking is about creating relationships. It’s about getting to know people.
Nowadays when I go to networking events, I go to have engaging conversations with people that I find interesting, to learn about them, and if there’s any way I can help them by connecting them with someone else or sharing my knowledge. I feel like that’s a gift, a bonus for my networking efforts. I’m sincerely interested in the other person, in their story, and they appreciate that. And they remember me. This kind of “new networking” actually energizes me!
A funny yet useful tip: when you enter a room, scan for people’s feet! It sounds strange, but our feet are the most honest parts of our body with regards to body language. When two people are having a conversation and their feet are pointing towards each other, it’s a closed conversation and you may be an intruder if you want to join them. However, when their feet are open, like a triangle shape, they likely won’t mind when you join them.
A last tip I want to share is the simple fact that when you’re going to a networking event and you see someone else, you already have something in common, because you’re both there. So you already have a topic to open a conversation with! That’s valid for any training you attend, seminar, at the gym, whatever place you meet someone.
What are some practical tips you can offer to introverts who want to succeed in the workplace, which is often geared towards extroverted behaviors?
It’s not about you, it’s about the value you add. How will the company benefit from your knowledge, programs and expertise? When you focus on that, you will be noticed. At least, that’s my experience.
Have you noticed any specific ways that being an introvert affects mental health or overall well-being? Any tips for introverts to maintain good mental health?
The thing I have noticed is that some introverts think they need to act unlike themselves to be successful. They think they have to act more like an extrovert. They force themselves out of their comfort zone, yet subconsciously they don’t like it. That inauthenticity will show somehow, which will make the person feel awkward, and they will likely be less successful in achieving the goals they’ve set for themselves. It’s energy draining to be in authentic. This is often the basis of imposter syndrome. My tip is to stay true to yourself, be authentic, listen to your body and believe in your own strengths. That’s actually what I help my clients with. I still take them out of their comfort zones, but they actually like it. Maybe it’s more about stretching their comfort zones.
In your opinion, are societal views on introversion changing? If so, how do you think this impacts introverts positively or negatively? Can you please explain what you mean?
I would say, yes. I think more people are comfortable saying, “I’m an introvert and I can successfully promote my business.” Look at me. I’m an introvert and I’m promoting myself all the time. I found the way to do it and become successful. Knowing that the only thing I can actively influence is my own mindset and actions, and indirectly the mindset of my clients and people close to me, and that’s where my energy goes. And together, we create success.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
One quote I have implemented in my life, is the following: “The feedback you get is the result of your behavior.” For me, this means I take full responsibility for my actions and the results I’m getting. It puts me in the driver seat, so to speak, and I don’t act as a victim. Whenever something happens to me, I start wondering what led to this situation, what can I learn from it, and how can I prevent this from happening again (if the outcome wasn’t what I preferred).
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
I would love it when people stop labeling and start making a positive impact. To say it bluntly, labels tend to make people narrowminded. They limit themselves by living according to the limitations of the label. I truly believe everybody is here with a reason, to make a positive impact, now it’s key to find that reason and start living it.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
They can of course go to my website https://www.millionairelifestrategy.com (or www.powermind.coach for Dutch), connect with me on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/erwin-wils) or subscribe to my podcast https://www.follow-your-passion.biz which is present on all major platforms.
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
Thriving As An Introvert: Erwin Wils On How Introverts Can Thrive & Succeed In A Society That Seems… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.