Thriving As An Introvert: Michael Thompson Of EAE Business School On How Introverts Can Thrive & Succeed In A Society That Seems To Favor Extroverts
Let your team know how you best communicate. Some people communicate best verbally, while others in written form. The beauty of the world we live in today is there is room for all of us to thrive. I’m one of those people who thinks of the perfect come-back joke or idea hours or even days after an interaction.
In a world that often rewards outspokenness and social networking, introverts can sometimes feel sidelined or overlooked. The workplace, educational institutions, and even social settings can often seem engineered to suit the strengths of extroverts, leaving introverts searching for a space to flourish.
However, introversion comes with its own set of unique strengths — deep thinking, the ability to focus, empathy, and keen observational skills — that are invaluable but often underestimated. The question then becomes: how can introverts not only survive but also thrive and succeed in environments that seem skewed towards extroversion? In this interview series, we are talking to introverts, business leaders, psychologists, authors, career coaches, organizational leaders, and other experts in the field who can talk about “How Introverts Can Thrive & Succeed In A Society That Seems To Favor Extroverts”. As part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Michael Thompson.
Michael Thompson is a career coach, lecturer at EAE Business School in Barcelona, Spain, and strategic communication advisor to seasoned business leaders worldwide. His work has appeared in numerous publications, including Fast Company, Insider, Forbes, INC, MSN, and Apple News. His new book is Shy by Design: 12 Timeless Principles to Quietly Stand Out (Rowman & Littlefield, July 16, 2024).
Thank you so much for your time! Our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us your “Origin Story”? Can you tell us the story of how you grew up?
I grew up shy with a debilitating stutter and moved around a lot for my dad’s job in the military. I don’t want to paint a picture that my childhood was filled with constant anxiety. However, I often felt like I didn’t belong and struggled to find my place in the world as my quiet and sensitive demeanor clashed against the more confident personas around me.
Looking back, I’m grateful for having experienced different environments, as starting at new schools and being exposed to different personality types pushed me out of my comfort zone and taught me essential life and social skills. As a result, my upbringing played a pivotal role in shaping the work I do today helping people to build their networks and step into their voice without sacrificing their shy nature.
Can you tell us a bit about what you do professionally, and what brought you to this specific career path?
I serve as a communication strategist, leadership lecturer at EAE Business School in Barcelona and, in addition to my own writing, I help executives and entrepreneurs in the social innovation space grow their influence through thought leadership advisory and book writing.
I love what I do today and view coaching and helping to amplify the messages of people whose missions I believe in as my forever work. Plus, I love the variety of dipping in and out of teaching, strategy, and writing, as it allows me to bring my creativity to various fields.
But the road here has been anything but a straight line. It demanded trying a lot of things from sales in the US and property development in Central America (which went horribly), to teaching Business English and getting involved with startups in Spain. Over time, by paying attention to which aspects of my jobs I liked and beginning to write about the lessons learned through the ups and downs of my experiences, the dots I collected finally began to connect.
Thank you for all that. Let’s now turn to the main focus of our discussion about Thriving As An Introvert. In order to make sure that we are all on the same page, let’s begin with a simple definition. What does “Introvert” mean to you?
I view introversion as an inherent trait where we are at home with ourselves, get energy from within, and sometimes experience overstimulation in the outside world. I physically need alone time, not only to recharge, but to also get clear on my thoughts and feelings. That said, I think it’s important to note that introversion and extroversion lie on a spectrum, and each of us falls into different spots.
Can you help articulate a few of the challenges that come with being an introvert?
The first challenge that comes to mind is that society (and this is a generalization) tends to view introversion as being less than extroversion; like it’s a problem to solve rather than an aspect of our character to embrace. The world would be a very boring place if we were all the same, as our differences are what give the world color and we each have unique gifts to share.
I feel the biggest day-to-day challenges introverts face are navigating the overstimulation and self-doubt that can come from attending large gatherings in and outside of the workplace. Many of us feel like we must put on a mask or give ourselves a pep talk to muster up the courage to attend a networking event or even a birthday party. That can be exhausting. Those of us who are more introverted can also spend a lot of time in our heads and get caught up in what we’re going to say when conversations turn in our direction.
I’m sure that being an introvert also gives you certain advantages. Can you tell us a few advantages that introverts have?
I’m a big believer that the most valuable people take the time to understand what other people value and this begins with being a strong listener and empathetic, which are traits that introverts tend to encompass. We are often highly attuned and sensitive to our surroundings, which can allow us to see and pick up on details that other people may miss. This benefit of being a “noticer” can make us not only good problem solvers but also problem identifiers. It’s also a superpower when building relationships, as people feel like we take the time to see and hear them.
In addition, introverts tend to think before they speak. This skill is gaining more and more value as being thoughtful, deliberate, and measured in our words can help us to stand out without adding to the noise in our increasingly loud world.
What are the “myths” that you would like to dispel about being an introvert? Can you explain what you mean?
The biggest one is that we are anti-social and we don’t like people. Granted, this may be true for some people. However, many of us are in awe of others and find human beings endlessly fascinating, hence our ability to pick up on the subtleties and nuances that other people may overlook.
In the workplace, a big myth is that we aren’t as effective in leadership positions compared to our more extroverted counterparts. If I’ve learned anything in my career, it’s that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to leadership, and no single type of leader is inherently superior to another. Some are more vocal in their approach. They set their target and motivate their team to follow their flag. Others lead from behind. They identify where their people want to go and take on a more supportive role. I tend to be more attracted to the latter and have shaped my leadership style to this approach. I’m best when leading tight-knit teams and digging in with people to uncover creative solutions to drive projects and ideas forward.
Do you have any role models who are also introverts? What have you learned from them that can help introverts navigate the challenges and benefits of introversion?
When I was 23, I took a job in sales to learn how to better bet on myself and build connections with others. Up until that point in my life, I assumed the most effective salespeople would be more extroverted. But to my surprise, the top performer was introverted and he was able to carve out a lane for himself by leading with listening and working very hard to identify the best solutions for his clients. The biggest lessons I learned from him were to bet on myself, get crystal clear on how I best operate, and do what I can with what I have to make the lives of the people around me better.
Most recently, big role models are podcast hosts I’ve met like David Hall and Julianna Yau Yorgan. The two of them push their comfort zones when reaching out to guests and putting on their shows, while using their platforms to amplify the messages of other shy or introverted people. Plus, it’s their way to network and meet new people who they find interesting, which I think is very smart.
Whether you are more introverted or extroverted, I think finding your preferred way to network while pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone on your own terms is key to career success. Life is about people and it’s about growth.
Here is the primary question of our discussion. Based on your experience and success, what are the “Five Things Introverts Need To Thrive & Succeed In A Society That Seems To Favor Extroverts”? If you can, please share a story or an example for each.
1. Craft your calendar around your energy levels
I love teaching and working with students to reach their goals and own their stories. But it didn’t take me long to realize that, after giving a workshop or having a 4-hour lecturing slot, I needed a full day to recover, as the overstimulation from the constant interaction wore me out.
Today, I’m very cautious when I agree to do something, and scheduling my days as best I can around my energy levels has made a world of difference. My mornings are all about scratching my creative itch and advancing work on projects that I can do on my own, whereas my afternoons are more social and collaborative. I very rarely, if ever, have back-to-back meetings, social events, or teaching slots, as I need time to recharge.
2. Find the people who let you just be
I asked a friend who is introverted how his new relationship was going back when we were in college. “Great,” he replied, “we can just be together without feeling like we need to talk and appease each other.” I’ll never forget that. As human beings, we’re wired for connection. But that doesn’t mean we constantly need to be immersed in conversation, as just being in someone’s presence is enough. When I met my wife, it became clear that we were both comfortable in silence and I loved that she could do her thing while I did mine.
3. Pick your own flavor of discomfort
Father Richard Rohr has a quote that I adore: “I have prayed for years for one good humiliation a day, and then, I must watch my reaction to it. I have no other way of spotting both my denied shadow self and my idealized persona.”
As stated previously, whether we lean more toward being introverted or extroverted, it’s important to face our fears and put ourselves in front of growth opportunities. There’s something magical about doing what hurts. As Richard implied, it allows you to get a sneak peek into your potential and, at times, it can even give you a glimpse of the person you’ve always wanted to become but didn’t even know existed.
It can be easy to write off an opportunity because we think it isn’t for us or we’re scared of making a fool of ourselves. But if the voice inside our head is saying that taking a public speaking course, applying for a new job, or reaching out to someone we admire could be good for us, it’s our responsibility to listen to it.
4 . Question everything
Shortly after starting my first sales job, my team and I attended one of those massive sales conferences. It was the last place I wanted to be, but toward the end of the day the keynote speakers said something that rocked my world: “If you’re having trouble getting people to talk — stutter. They’ll see you as a human being instead of a salesperson!” In an instant, I began to see myself though a more empowered lens.
Maybe you don’t stutter, but if you’re introverted, maybe you beat yourself up for being too sensitive or not being vocal enough. Rather than accept these stories we tell ourselves as fact, we can dissect them and look for proof points that speak to the contrary. Society tends to view things like vulnerability as a weakness, when having the courage to ask for help, express insecurities, and admit you don’t have life figured out is the epitome of strength.
5 . Try to always have a creative outlet
My drug for self-exploration and expression is writing and I try to always have white space on my calendar for it. Recently, I’ve been getting more and more into design for fun. Many introverts are creative by nature, which can not only help shape our careers but also build connections with others, as art is the world’s strongest bridge.
How should an introvert navigate social relationships and networking, activities that are often touted as extroverts’ forte? Do you have any advice for introverts in these areas?
Everything changed for me when I began to reframe networking as not “having to meet new people,” but rather the opportunity to meet just one new person. I’m best in small groups, and ideally, one-on-one, as I like to dive deep with people. Rather than attend large networking events, each week for the last five years I’ve reached out to someone who I was curious about and requested a chance to get to know them. This habit has led me to meet some of my closest friends, frequent collaboration partners, as well as countless opportunities.
The idea of making the first move may sound daunting, but you can begin by identifying other people who fall more on the introverted side of the spectrum. After all, nobody is stopping us from creating a shy or introverted tribe to collectively make the noise we want to hear in the world.
I used to put a lot of pressure on myself to “perform” when meeting new people. I thought I had to knock their socks off. What I failed to realize is the goal of making a solid first impression is to have a second conversation. That’s it. And the best way to win that opportunity is by being curious, attentive, and becoming a master of the follow-up to demonstrate you care and are listening. This could come in the form of shooting over a book recommendation, offering to connect them with someone in your network, or simply asking how their child’s football game went if they mentioned it during the initial conversation. Like life, relationships are the long game. Leaning into your observation and listening skills can be your quiet superpower.
What are some practical tips you can offer to introverts who want to succeed in the workplace, which is often geared towards extroverted behaviors?
1. Let your team know how you best communicate
Some people communicate best verbally, while others in written form. The beauty of the world we live in today is there is room for all of us to thrive. I’m one of those people who thinks of the perfect come-back joke or idea hours or even days after an interaction.
Let your team know if you need time to collect and crystalize your thoughts, as your first response isn’t always your best response. No matter how vocal or visible I am in meetings, I always send memos after I’ve had time to let the conversation sit. This habit has helped to reduce a lot of stress that I used to experience. Not talking in the moment does not mean you’re not contributing.
2. When possible, speak up early
No matter how much we may not like it, visibility at work matters. As introverts, if we aren’t careful, we can get too comfortable in the background and rely too heavily on being good listeners and use our need reflection time as a crutch to not speak up in meetings.
To step into your voice, consider speaking up early in meetings and take the time to write out and plan what you are going to say. Speaking up early ensures you don’t allow too much time to pass to talk yourself out of vocalizing your ideas. It can also serve as a stress release, which allows you to listen even better during meetings. As introverts we may pride ourselves on our listening skills, but often in environments like meetings we can get caught up in what we are going to say if the conversation turns in our direction that we don’t listen to anyone.
3. Be proactive in establishing boundaries
To thrive in the workplace, we need to be mindful of where we are spending our time, energy, and attention to ensure we are doing our best work. Be specific in communicating the conditions you need to make this happen and why it’s important to you. If you need extended blocks of quiet time to focus, let that be known up front, why it’s important to you, and reinforce when necessary. This last point of reinforcing your boundaries may feel uncomfortable in the moment, but doing so is critical to your long-term comfort. Something as simple as sharing that if you have your headphones on you’d prefer not to be disturbed can go a long way.
4. Lean into building quality relationships
We don’t need to have a big network; we need a supportive one. If you’re best building connections one-on-one, lean into that as they add up over time.
Have you noticed any specific ways that being an introvert affects mental health or overall well-being? Any tips for introverts to maintain good mental health?
Many of my more introverted friends, students, and clients express varying levels of social anxiety, and some are prone to extended periods of time of solitude. Whether we are introverted or extroverted, as human beings, we are wired for connection.
One thing that works well for me is I schedule my social time first each week, before turning to my work calendar. Each week I have two or three non-negotiable blocks of time with friends where we get together and do something that ideally breaks a sweat. Playing football or going to the gym or beach while catching up has a funny way of boosting our moods.
In your opinion, are societal views on introversion changing? If so, how do you think this impacts introverts positively or negatively? Can you please explain what you mean?
I feel like we’re going to through an era where quiet or introverted is the new cool. Some people I’ve spoken with have told me they are extremely extroverted in conversation, only to go online to share how they’ve carved out a career as a keynote speaker as an introvert.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Can you share how that was relevant to you in your life?
When I was growing up, whenever I felt insecure or expressed my anxiety to my mom, she’d say — “Look for the good.” Today, I view that as my primary marching order. To look for the good in myself. To look for the good in others.
You are a person of great influence. If you could start a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Without a doubt it would be to slow down and listen. If I’ve learned anything in my career from both personal experience and that of the people around me who have found fulfillment in their work, is that’s speed is pointless if we’re heading in the wrong direction. Make time for yourself. Keep your ears and eyes open. And never stop treating your curiosity as your primary responsibility.
How can our readers further follow your work online?
Thank you for reading. Feel free to learn more about my work on my website and connect with me on LinkedIn or Substack (where I’m now most active).
Thank you so much for sharing these important insights. We wish you continued success and good health!
Thriving As An Introvert: Michael Thompson Of EAE Business School On How Introverts Can Thrive &… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.